SlatFatF

GO TO WORDPRESS

2009-04-28T13:36:00.002-05:00

Our wordpress page is now open, although it is still under construction. Be prepared for the layout to change, tags to get messed up, etc. while we do everything. WE are actually categorizing every post, all 160+ of them, in categories like News, Poems, Comics, Downloads, etc.

our site is
http://slatfatf.wordpress.com

Enjoy! THIS IS THE LAST POST MADE ON SLATFATF.TK
PLEASE MOVE TO THE WORDPRESS PAGE

30 things i've lied about

2009-04-26T22:57:00.004-05:00

my virginity
my name
my birthplace
my religion
my culture
my home
my age
my sex
my significant other status
my friends
my hair color
my eye color
my weight
my height
my penis size
my grades
my hygiene
my movies that I know about
my games that I know about
my comics that I know about
my music that I know about
my parents
my pets
my living conditions
my income
my lack of income
my employment
my technical savvyness
my sexual abilities
my love.

Wasn't that just wonderful?

What have you lied about?

And the Move begins

2009-04-26T22:56:00.000-05:00

we are moving our extremely popular blog SLATFATF over to Wordpress, so watch out for any bugs for a while. We'll post when we get everything sorted out.

Stressing Myself

2009-04-26T21:01:00.003-05:00

For the past few months, I've been busy with college stuff. Hey wait, don't skip this post yet. It's not another "reasons we haven't been updating" post. In fact, we are done with those posts, and I promise on my father's grave (The one that I plan to bury him in once I kill him for all the horrible pain he's put me through, THE UNEMOTIONAL HORRIDNESS CAUSED BY HIS LACK OF RESPECT AND THE SEXUAL INHIBTIONS FURTHER CREATED BY HIS INSECURITIES OF....

ahem.... woops), that we will never ever make another post with reasons why we aren't updating. Because we are updating from now on.

God damn I haven't written in this format for so long. Feels nice to get the ol' fingers moving on the shitty blogspot formatting screen with horrible column length and all. Let me get back to the purpose of this post, which if you take out all of that father stuff, is quite serious. I've been looking at tons of college stuff, and working on that. My main thing is to just keep getting higher scores on more and more standardized tests. I've achieved some really really great scores, but I'm still not satisfied. In fact, I won't be until I get at least a top 1% score on the ACT. So I picked up one of those handy dandy ACT prep books. My girlfriend hit me when she found out. She says I'm getting overly stressed about things that I don't need to be worried about. The college I'm primarily intending to go to will gladly accept a student with my credentials, but still.

Do you ever have that? A sort of drive to do better, even whenever it doesn't matter? Maybe I put too much value on my own pride. I care too much about opinions of others. For instance, I'm a compulsive liar. This entire paper has been a lie, I, in fact, have done none of the above. Guess what? That was another lie. I have done all of what I just described. I mean I've lied about lots of things. Things that don't matter. That's my next post. Hope you enjoyed reading about nothing and getting nothing out of it.

Cry me a River

2009-04-25T18:20:00.004-05:00

I recently pondered whether we should shut down this site or allow it to take a gasp of air, attempt to let it live, perhaps even thrive. At first I thought of all the reasons to shut the site down, which I shall now list in order that you may form your own opinion on this matter of closure:

We don't put quite so much effort into the site
We have very little community involvement. In fact, I can only think of 3 people that regularly comment.
We don't update as regularly
the site would be one less thing to do in the afternoons.

Considering all these facts, one would easily come to the conclusion that SLATFATF is undeserving of it's domain, and should be closed.

And then I thought of all the positive things that have happened because of our involvement in slatfatf:

The creative writings that we have done are funnier than I could have imagined
The comics that have been drawn/written are amazing
the podcasts have been so much fun, and stimulating
having our friends tell us that we had a funny post or something is rewarding
we have quite a few viewers, even though we don't get many comments
the poems have been great
working with Fenghar on anything is entertaining
coming up with new ideas is super stimulating to the creative lobe

After I wrote this list, I knew the answer to my question. We don't want to keep running slatfat. We need to keep running slatfat. WE NEED to keep running it because if we close it down, we will be losing our escape. Our little fortress of solitude. We need a place to post our nonsensical ramblings, a place to drop off our friday night recordings, a place for our drawings that are so creepy they don't deserve to be on the internet, but they are. Fenghar, we need this cove, this harbor, of chaos. I can't imagine a Friday night where we aren't recording some bullshit, talking about something to do with Slatfatf, drawing those crazy pics. Talking about india. Watching movies.

Fenghar, if we lose our safe haven of insanity, I really believe a huge part of our creativity will go unserved. This is why it is dire that we keep this site running.

I'm not giving up on slatfatf, and neither are you. If you do indeed never return to slatfatf, never draw a hilarious comic again, never record another podcast, never write a poem, never link a fun video, and never write non sequitor stories, then I will beat the shit out of you.

No fucking joke.

I'll kick your fucking freshly perfect teeth in.

Indefinite Hiatus

2009-04-25T03:23:00.003-05:00

I think I'm done with this...

I like doing webcomics and updating a site, but I don't feel I'm doing anything that's worthwhile for me or viewers, so I'm just gonna quit while I'm behind.
I could whine about this or that, but that would just be more and more excuses. Basically, I'm tired and lazy and irresponsible.

Yep.

So I guess I'll leave this up for Astrozombie and the three other people that visit the site so you can yell at me or look through the meager and stupid archives of our nonsense. I'll hopefully resurface elsewhere on the net with a new domain name and a well-stocked archive of goodies, but I doubt that will even happen.

Well, I'm gonna go and make a feeble attempt at being a hot-shot director. But I'll probably get lazy and not do that either. Look out for me in the obituaries, cuz that's probably be the only thing I won't get lazy at.

Man.

That would make a great comic. A person who gets lazy and doesn't die because he's lazy.

Anyways, Right now I'm gonna focus my efforts on slowly building up a collection of pre-drawn comics so if I do get around to another site I'll have something to buffer myself with. Also, I'll be working on coaxing some silliness out of my ol' DV Camera.

In conclusion, its been nice sharing this past year or so with you all in blog and comic and podcast form. Thank you to those few golden souls who felt like dropping a comment or two on our posts and also thank you to those who just visited the site a few times or so and maybe even laughed a post or two. Sorry if I'm letting you down, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do-

-Be lazy

For(most likely) the final time on this site,
Peace

Comic

2009-04-18T18:25:00.003-05:00

With every new follower on Twitter, I get closer to my dream.

Thursday Night Poetry Slam

2009-04-17T09:49:00.003-05:00

Has been postponed until next Thursday. Which basically means I'm just skipping this one.

I am sick. I am in no mood to write poems.

However dot dot dot

I will tell you that I plan to start hosting a

LIVE RADIO SHOW

Every Thursday Poetry Slam Night. I'll still post 'em up here, but you can listen to how we say our poems and stuff.

And how we cry our manly manly tears.

Peace.

Comic

2009-04-15T06:37:00.002-05:00

This comic is about the happiest day of my life.

Comic

2009-04-13T15:27:00.001-05:00

This is a story about balloons and raptors and how we can all learn to get along if we don't fight over sammiches.

Comic

2009-04-11T16:04:00.003-05:00

BALLOON STORY

This is a story about a balloon and...

...his new best friend.

TO BE CONT.?

Thursday Night Poetry Slam

2009-04-09T21:13:00.003-05:00

First up on the mic is Feng to the Har
Shinin out poetry just like a star
Fuse on the muse exploding in hues
Colors define the lines and the spaces
Cutting out rythyms and Shapin the faces
Of the lyrics that are written but never sung
and the pages that are typed but are never hung
on the bindings of the books that are never read
From the words that are floatin 'round my head

somethin somethin somethin....bread?

AWWWW SHIT HERE IT COMES

THURSDAY NIGHT POETRY SLAM

Peace in Dust

these dusty old Bones
were once filled with groans
of fears that once did start
this dusty old Heart

and from these dusty old Lungs
came screams that were sung
from the agonies sustained
in this dust old Brain

in this dusty old Mouth
was held the sounds of the deep south
that never escaped past the lipst till demise
one final gasp adn the closiing of these dusty old Eyes

and all this dust is accumulated in this dusty old Tomb
my final resting place, my eternal womb

and I'm lowered down into this dusty ground unceremoniously
now words are spoken, no one knows me

And in this dust, I have found Peace.

AND NOW A POEM ABOUT MY TAINT

Buttered, Jammed, Honeyed, or Hammed
My Taint is t'aint ready to be viciously manned
So please be careful when preparing your festive feast
upon the place that grows my yeast

THAT WAS INNAPROPRIATE PORNOGRAPHY KILLS SOTP

Continued from the last haiku story

AND
I
FELL

up into the sky
right into reality
blood was everywhere

i had staved them off
a voice in my head had told me
i am not yet dead

i left that coffin
hoping to find a saviour
instead stepped in blood

more blood everywhere
people rising so strangely
caught up from puddles

sky had been bleeding
ground had been stealing the souls
some people didn't rise

my eyes ached they spun
wretched out once, twice now i'm done
no one noticed me

my legs moved alone
independent of my needs, wants
i didn't know where

moving through the cries
shoving my way through the screams
i start to forget

lost identity
i tore through time silently
lost language, lost soul

bodies became ghosts
i've fallen behind myself
but i think no thoughts

i ran through the world
i collapsed in to its core
from my mouth crept dark

conciousness rose once
reminding me i'm hungry
but there is no i'm

we've become the core
we cry silence we eat souls
we always hunger

SURE WHATEVER I DON'T CARE GOD- JUST BE SURE TO CHECK OUT NEXT THURSDAY'S HAIKU STORY

Comic

2009-04-08T07:03:00.002-05:00

Hairy Hobos

Really, this joke is only funny if you lol'd at the Underworld 3 Trailer as much as me and Astrozombie did.

Comic

2009-04-06T06:23:00.002-05:00

Kim Jong Il is so krazy!

OH POLITICS! HAHAHA

Comic

2009-04-05T13:50:00.004-05:00

Animals funniest Planets!

Coimuc

2009-04-04T22:18:00.003-05:00

The comic, if you haven't already noticed, is gonna be late. I'm pushing it back to Sunday- I had a very physically and emotionally stressful day today and all the funny drained from my bones. I'm sorry, but I'm not prepared to make it Bowie-centric either. I realize I don't really want to do that one until I have the right tools(like a tablet). However, Sunday I'll be pretty much clear from all work so I'll try to draw up a nice buffer zone to ensure that I don't have to be late on comics so much.

In other news, we've casted a few pods so those will be up soon- probably tomorrow. And, free time permitting, will start podcasting regularly. Its something Astrozombie and I can do that isn't very stressful and it also allows him to remain active with the site despite his very busy woman-filled schedule.

And by woman-filled I mean he's a woman and he's filling his time with womanly things.

Anyways, I also plan on Thursday being poetry and story night so expect some slammin' rhymes, yo.

As you can see, we are trying to amp up the content level to over nine-thousand.

And there is a secret surprise that will show up sometime soon. Let me tell you this, its gonna take a shitload of work to get it off the ground, so don't expect this secret to be revealed too soon as I don't want to be the preemptive asshole that I've been in the past with this site. Two weeks from now I plan on having pictures- so drop by then if you don't really want to be a regular; I'll really need some audience support on this.

So that's whats been happenin with the site recently. Drop by tomorrow for some more bi-minutely content.

Peace,
Fenghar The Nord

Astro Poem's 1

2009-04-02T22:54:00.004-05:00

Poem 1: Hunting

The first poem I wrote today. Here we go:

gunpowder smoke

licks his nose

tingling pain

no feeling in toes

drunk on power

lowest of lows

screaming in distance

the fleeing of crows

Ye Olde Poetry

2009-04-02T20:31:00.004-05:00

I was inspired recently, so I shall share with you some poetry I wrote. Astrozombie will post some of his own soon too.

Here we go:

Heat Lightning
Hot Miami Night
Spark in the alleyway
bright loud night
Smoke and Blood trail from a hole in a man who is already broken
A crimson smile drips from his face
Sick Grin, Dead Man
Gunpowder Derby

That was not a serious poem. Really, I just wanted to write gunpowder derby at the end of something. So I wrote that.

Robot Lovin
Hard to Get
Stuck it in an Oven
Burnt a bit
Sexy readout voice
Tempted me
So I made the choice
Preemptively
Mechanical Abstinence
No more stuffin' cogs
Now I'll waste my pence
On stuffin some dogs

That was an inappropriate poem. I'm sorry for that. I won't do that again. Actually I will so shut up.

At the peak of day
I laid there, back susspended
I felt floating, though there was hard rock
beneath me
My Brother was waiting

Two sandy obelisks pierce the sky
There are Holy words on them
Words spoken, listened to, etched in, and saved
above me
My Brother was waiting

A man dressed in blood stained jewelry was speaking
I did not hear, for the words he spoke were for
the huddled peoples, at the base of the pyramid
below me
My Brother was waiting

Something caught my eye
The man held silver in his raised right hand
So sharp it cut the sun
above me
My Brother was waiting

The people's muttered prayers rose to a cacophony of wails
The man's hand came down upon me
The orgy reached climax as I, separated, spun freely
below me
My Brother was waiting

The faces curdled and mixed and swirled
But at the bottom I recognized one settled in a crimson puddle
As the roaring drained out of my ears I heard a whisper

I knew

Above me, my Brother was waiting.

STOP LAUGHING AT ME I'M AN ARTIST SHUT UP I HATE YOU

Now, for the first part of the first installment in my new series of Haiku Stories that I am announcing right now. Take it like a man.

i woke up in there
strange familiarity
"this can't be my house"

blood stained the walls- floor
screams below cracked the silence
i grabbed my tin bat

i tore down the stairs
it wasn't too dark to see
i didn't want to

for there stood a man
and there laid my family
dead, torn, and broken

i don't remember
can't tell if I was screaming
but I killed that man

something had happened
my vision started to blur
there was a sharp silence

the white seemed nothing
muddled faces surrounded
i ached all over

all mouths were empty
opened wide for some purpose
a darkness swept out

their feet touched no ground
i was covered in silence
their hands never moved

i heard a noise though
more though like i felt a noise
a friendly face shown

he swung a barbed club
breaking the mouths of demons
"lets go" he told me

we broke out of there
but we were closely followed
their numbers increased

his pace fell behind
his screams never broke my gait
it wasn't my fault

it wasn't my fault
they kept following
it wasn't my fault

i lost my movement
legs pumped; but i stayed in place
sobs shook my body

they came in closer
Oh please it wasn't my fault
then everything stopped

AND
I
FELL

Okie dokie, I'll go round up Astrozombie and get him to post his now.

Drop me a comment mebbe?

April Fools Day Comic

2009-04-01T17:18:00.002-05:00

HAHAHAHA

GOD DAMN I'M CLEVER!

Don't worry there will be a surprise tomorrow, my sweets.

Bukake

2009-03-30T16:02:00.002-05:00

I like bukake

Once I get a tablet these will look so much better, honest and for truly!

I'm Just A Little Birdy Too!

2009-03-29T16:49:00.003-05:00

So I'm "tweeting" on the "twitter" now, "yo". Whatever that means.

I'm mainly doing it so I can stop flooding facebook with status updates, but I'm also doing it so you guys(whoever you are) can watch me slowly slip into a drug and alcohol fueled depression through the ease and convenience of mobile phone updates.

Until I become super internet famous and have to start being an asshole to all my fans because I need to keep my image I'll reply to everyone I can. Except for the times when replies aren't really necessary. But I'll probably reply then, too, because I hunger for any kind of human contact.

HA HA HA HA HA- JUST KIDDING GUISE I'M NOT CRAZY HAHHAHHEHEheheheoHoHo

Check out the sidebar to your right, please. Think of it as a charity to someone who is in need of validation of their existence.

Wow

2009-03-28T13:16:00.003-05:00

We have 150 posts!

That's a lot.

Anyways, here's yo next comic! A slight break from the apocalyptic theme- depending on how you look at it.

I'm gonna try to do hand-drawn comics from now on because they are quicker and less frustrating to do. I'll also try to learn how to colorize on the compy.

I'll also also learn how to draw better :(

This comic deals with rage related to aquatic animals.

The Future

2009-03-27T21:55:00.002-05:00

Attention: Serious post that isn't very funny coming up.

So me and Fenghar have had several in-depth discussions about the future of Slatfatf. We've been talking about what exactly we want to do with the site, where we want it to go, and how this is coinciding with our social lives and educational lives. Anyways, here are some key points:

blogspot/blogger is a fairly limited host that no longer fills our needs
our hits are fine, but they could be higher
we don't post as often, and by we, I mean I haven't been.
we don't desire to make money from this site, at least not currently, so we will still be ad free

Considering the above for a moment, we need a new way to bring great content to our readers, including sound files, videos, music, flash, java, etc. Not only that, but we also need a place that provides us with appropriate amounts of intuition and design. We also need our loyal readers to help us out, spread the joy and tell people about our site. We don't make any extra money or anything, but 40-50% of the content on ANY blog is "populated" by the commentators. So share with us your feedback and comments!

Thanks for reading this non funny post about the future. Thanks a lot.

You prick.

UR MOM

2009-03-25T19:13:00.007-05:00

Today, we see our hero gettin' a bit saucy with Abaddon.

Hurm, hope this post works right...

EDIT: It didn't, but it gives me hope! If I downsize my images I can make them fit on this layout real nice- and if we get a better css template then maybe we can find one with a nicely expanded main column so it will be even better for comic and picture placement and I won't have to thumbnail everything or cut it together.

It might also allow me to do alt text which- even with the images straight up on the page(rather than thumbnailed) didn't seem to be appearing. HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO DO WEBCOMICS!

Well, I officially suck.

2009-03-23T16:04:00.003-05:00

I'm a total piece of crap who is going to ditch putting up a comic for you guys because I got a second chance on submitting an essay that was due today for a contest because my teacher liked the first draft so much.

This is doubly terrible because it should've been no problem for me to up a comic if I had drawn it already.

Hopefully it will be up on Tuesday, or even later today.

Wish me luck! The prize is 1000$ in cold, hard cash all of which will go towards my film career. That reminds me- I'm planning on the art design, character design, storyline design, co-voicing, and co-writing a little short show for you guys.

It will probably involve puppets and insanity.

Of course, I promise these kinds of things a lot so don't expect anything. I want it to be a surprise anyways.

Hiatus

2009-03-13T23:40:00.003-05:00

No comics next Saturday or next week. I'mma gonna bees in Texas for Spring Break.

There will also probably be no new posts, unless AstroZombie has an explosion of inspiration or wants to show you guys some sweet uploads- which he probably will because he'll be on vacation as well and that's usually when he posts the most.

If I'm able to plug in somewhere I'll probably drop a few pics for you guys. Expect comics in full force the week after next, as I draw a LOT when I'm on vacation.

Until then have an awesome week, guys.

Seacrest- OUT.

Water

2009-03-11T15:28:00.004-05:00

Our himself in a parched predicament!

I need to figure out how to do alt text...

Skidoosh

2009-03-09T18:16:00.004-05:00

The next webcomic for your enjoyment, titled "Introspection".

I love making these comics.

Boy howdy, be shore to drop on down here this Wednesday for another apocalyptic release!

And don't forget to drop a comment.

Ever.

Don't ever forget it, or you might just die.

Maybe...

Know What?

2009-03-08T22:05:00.003-05:00

So if you haven't noticed, we are trying to do a lot of things with slatfatf right now, but this post isn't about slatfat, it's about me. It's about why I haven't been posting, why I've not been delivering on all my many promises about uploading and posting every day and programming and presenting tangible results. Well I don't have many answers, but I'll try to make up a few.

I'm currently in the healthiest relationship I've ever been in, and it's really turning into something great, so I guess a lot of my time has been devoted to that (this makes Fenghar excessively uncomfortable, because I don't spend time with him anymore. Also, Fenghar is angered because I'm in a relationship with a woman instead of a man)
I'm a proud member of several private torrent trackers, and thus I have been spending a lot of bandwidth (in fact, all of my bandwidth. I was warned by my ISP about overuse/copyright infringement) on those sites, instead of uploading for slatfat.
I've been very busy with school and such, I have a huge amount of writing to do, and lots of other things that I probably will not study nor ever use in my professional carreer.
I have a lot of ideas and things that I want to do, and I've actually been doing them for once. This hinders my slatfatf time greatly, since spare moments are given to other things, like my current screenplay/comic I'm writing with Fenghar.
I've been very busy not doing things on here

Yeah whatever.

We Got Plugged!

2009-03-08T17:50:00.003-05:00

We were just plugged by a webcomic so, since it is only courteous to do so, we's gonna plug right back! HEEYAH!

Drop on by BFFSatan for some DEVILISH humour. Damn I'm clever.

Anyways, I'm changing the comic update schedule to three times a week- Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday.

Prepare for some awesome tomorrow!

THIS IS A WEBCOMIC

2009-03-07T18:15:00.003-06:00

This is the first in a, hopefully, long series. Lets see if I can try to balance school and life to update this regularly. For right now, I'mma gonna shoot for Saturday releases of these babies- so drop by soon for some more.

HERE WE GO!

*In case you can't read it- it says "Humanity's Punchline OR: How I learned to stop joking and love the apocalypse"

There we go. ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL!? I THINK I'M PRETTY CLEVER! SEE HOW THAT CROSS'S SHADOW IS BURNING, BUT ITS NOT!? ISN'T THAT CLEVER? DAMN I"M GOOD. I'M TOTALLY GONNA GET, LIKE, THIRTY GIRLFRIENDS FOR THIS COMIC ALONE.

PICTURE BONANZA, TEXAS GET!

2009-02-23T17:01:00.004-06:00

Okie-dokie. While in Texas I didn't have a lot to do so I drew to fill up the gap between the events we had planned. I also tried some minor ganzfeld stuff, but that's for a later post.

Anyways, here they are- all ten of them.

Bear with me, all but maybe 2 of these aren't truly finished.

[AstroNOT]

This is some "concept art" for a comic I'm thinking of doing. Its boring and useless, I know, but its what I started drawing and I think its important to see how my insanity progressed through the weekend.

[SheetSea]

This is a sheet sea. I drew it to check out these sweet colored pencils that I got for Christmas. I did not know, until the next day, that these are ink pencils and that you wash them to get an ink-like effect. These are really awesome pencils. This is not a really awesome drawing.

[This Is How I Felt After Drawing Sheet Sea]

The title pretty much speaks for itself. I drew this one with some crayons I found in my Nana's drawer.

THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY IN TEXAS. NOW FOR THE SECOND DAY WHICH WAS PROBABLY THE BEST DAY- CREATIVELY SPEAKING THAT IS.

[Unfinished Bug]

This is an unfinished bug. Just in case you were wondering- which you weren't- I don't actually shape out my drawings like that. I was trying it out for this time and I hated the little mound I was drawing. I also hated shaping it out.

I hate this drawing.

[Naughty]

Now, this is where, I think, my drawings start getting good. This one is unfinished- I plan on colouring and adding a floor and wall to it.

[This Is What Art Is Supposed To Look Like I Think]

Once again, the title speaks for itself. Try to find the crosses I hid on the page.

[Heads Heading To Fountain]

I have trouble naming these pictures- for obvious reasons.

[Accompaniment To Heads Heading To Fountain]

If you drew a picture and are having trouble naming it, just find a picture that has similar things in it and name it as an Accompaniment to [that picture]. Worked for me.

[Shy Egg ManChild]

This was the last picture I drew while in Texas. The rest of the time I spent reading LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring. I actually fell asleep after reading it and had a dream about reading it. It was a great dream.

[I GOTS A LADYBUG]

I saved the best for last. This is one of the comparatively "finished" pictures. See if you can guess the other one.

WHEW, that was a lot of work. Lets see if this all will post right.

EDIT: WOWEE IT DID! I'm so proud of myself.

Also, just in case you were wondering- which you weren't- I know that my paper is all wrinkly. I spilled water on the book and now all the paper is warped.

I also know that I'm a horrible artist and should stop wasting my time putting up these pictures on the interbutts.

But you can just SHUT UP because my mommy says I'm good at it and she loves me.

Guess who's back.

2009-02-22T21:27:00.003-06:00

Back Again.

I'm back from Texas and I have tons of glorious pictures to upload. Unfortunately I forgot to print out or even remember the cannibal story, but I did draw a LOT.

So be prepared for the sexy to hit your computation device in a matter of...a day.

Right now, I'm gonna check mah sites and then I'm gonna hit the sack.

Seacrest- OUT

some issues

2009-02-22T16:24:00.002-06:00

we were having some issues with front page text appearing on our previous layout. Unfortunately, I loved that layout, but time goes on and we have to do what's best for the site.

Enjoy this "construction" layout while we are finding a new one.

Dracula Sovereign of the Damned

2009-02-22T15:08:00.003-06:00

I uploaded this hilariously bad movie to megaupload, and thought I would share it with you guys. It's basically about Dracula falling in love and all that other good stuff. Click the title of this post to dl it.

screenshots:

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/1337/drac00ac7.jpg

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/7876/drac01sx1.jpg

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/8678/drac02et4.jpg

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/732/drac08tp1.jpg

http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/5674/drac07nm4.jpg

Enjoy!

Green Lantern

2009-02-22T11:48:00.003-06:00

Here are some Green Lantern comic book links, use winrar to unzip them.

I highly recommend Emerald Dawn and Emerald Dawn II, both are fantastic.

Greatest Green Lantern stories 1 - Snowbirds don't Fly

http://rapidshare.com/files/15013486/green_lantern_v2_085_-_snowbirds_don_t_fly.cbr

http://www.mediafire.com/?1a0w032gd1z

Greatest Green Lantern stories 2 - Emerald Dawn

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=W7LDKQFE

Greatest Green Lantern stories 3 - Emerald Dawn II

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=K5EIB0SB

Greatest Green Lantern stories 4 - Alan Moore's Green Lantern

http://rapidshare.com/files/136104937/the_complete_alan_moore_green_lantern.cbr.html

Greatest Green Lantern stories 5 - Mosaic

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?o501wdyzyzz

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?lybmzymmyih

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?yjq3md0nmdj

Greatest Green Lantern stories 6 - Emerald Twilight

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zn0nczkdjdz

Greatest Green Lantern stories 7 - New Dawn

http://www.mediafire.com/?3xzdbmtzmfn

Greatest Green Lantern stories 8 - Emerald Knights

http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?zjyjtyzwmjm

Greatest Green Lantern stories 9 - Circle of Fire

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YR6BQ3PY

Greatest Green Lantern stories 10 - Rebirth

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=no65w51l

http://rs99.rapidshare.com/files/34501626/green_lantern_rebirth_1-6_.rar

Greatest Green Lantern stories 11 - Recharge

http://rapidshare.com/files/149633228/green_lantern_corps_-_recharge.rar

Greatest Green Lantern Stories 12 - Sinestro Corps War

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=MG7KN0YS

Greatest Green Lantern Stories 13 - Secret Origins

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0HU68M53

Long time running

2009-02-22T11:21:00.002-06:00

This is the first post I've made in a very long time, so in case our new readers don't know who I am, I'm the co-owner of this blog. Basically, me and Fenghar have been best friends for three years or so, and we just write on this blog thing for kicks. I actually primarily upload stuff and then paste the links. I'm a huge pirate, belonging to over 40 private trackers, so lack of content to upload is never really an issue.

So if you are enjoying slatfatf, I recommend listening to our podcasts (all of which suck), watch our mogulus channel (which will soon be banned for copyrighted material), or just kick back and read some archived posts (also sucks).

I'll get to uploading today, so stay tuned.

Hey Hey Hey, Post-A-Day!

2009-02-18T22:05:00.003-06:00

So I figure I should start posting once every day for practice, at least until I can set up a reasonable schedule for content release. I think Monday is a good day for comics, and every other Saturday is a good day for podcasts. Once a month is good for special content like videos or such.

Aside from that I think everything else will be irregular but frequent.

Really, though its all up in the air at this moment as to what direction we will take this site in. Hopefully I can start scraping off the leftover creativity that's been stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

I know lately it seems like all we've been doing is apologizing for a lack of updates.

I'm not one to break habits so- I'm sorry for not updating with awesome hilarious content every day.

Expect a nice update by the end of this week, I really plan on following through with that children's story about cannibalism.

P.S. I might make an IRC channel for this site where I can hang out and be all lonely because I don't actually have any fans that would go to it, I might also make a forum in which I will do the same thing.

El Texico

2009-02-17T21:57:00.003-06:00

I'm going to Texas friday and I'll be sure to take some pretty pictures of things and stuff because I really like Texas. Especially Dallas, which is where I will be. I'll also draw a whole bunch since I won't have anything else to do and possibly I might start building a reserve of comics so I can get that process going.

I might even do something interesting while I'm there so stay tuned for upcoming news and excitement.

Actually, knowing me, I won't do anything while I'm there and I'll just fail you all and this site will die and I won't become a director and I'll just pick up a crack habit and live off my parents for the rest of my life so I can feed my sickening condition but soon they will forsake me so I'll just have to sell my body to upkeep my horrible dysfunction and one day I'll sell my body to the wrong person and they will take me to their house and chop me up and put me in their freezer so later they can eat me or grind me up into their food that they sell on the street. Street meat they call it. They'll sell me as street meat that people will eat and they will think its delicious but actually its pernicious. And they will peddle my feet and buyers they'll greet with snuffed out smiles and a merchant's guile. I'll be taken away piece by piece maybe for a niece's birthday feast and there they will taste this street meat and I will be famous because I'm in everyone's bellies.

I'm going to draw a comic/children's book about this and all of it will rhyme and it will be amazing.

Actually I won't.

But maybe I will.

Gotta keep you readers* guessing.

*no one HAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHAHOHOHOHAOHOohgodhelpmeHAHAHAHOHOHOHHEEHEHEHEHOHOHO

Crab Badger to the Moooooooooon.

2009-02-16T15:22:00.002-06:00

"It will be an impressionistic surrealistic take on the existential crisis of humanity in today's modern world."

This is what I set out to do, and I think I accomplished that effectively.

Two Videos

2009-02-14T22:36:00.004-06:00

The nice people over at www.buttersafe.com keep inadvertently reminding me of things I need to do, so here's some video tutorials that I did a while ago that I've been meaning to show you guys.

This one is about how to do MS Paint. Its pretty cool.

This one is a video about how to find pictures on Google.

Here's Another Stupid Thing for you to Look At.

2009-02-14T22:01:00.007-06:00

Ugh. A flower. With a brown dirt dress. And its impaling a gnome. How childish.

[Click to Expand and see the full image]

Look at this Picture.

2009-02-14T16:47:00.005-06:00

Look at how stupid it is. What is that? A bear? A bear with a bandage on his head? That's stupid. And childish. What is that there? A hammer-heart? How stupid. Hammers aren't like that. And neither are bears. Bears don't have tendrils. Look at his stupid ears. One of them is backwards. And whats that on his head? A sewage grate? Ugly. And what's that shit floating above him? An eye saucer? Repugnance. I hate this picture. I hope whoever drew it dies in around 80 years.

[Click to view the full thing]

Hey, Ever Had a Panic Attack?

2009-01-27T20:22:00.004-06:00

No?

Do you want to experience one for the first time?

Well, why not?

Pff, its not THAT bad. Quit being a wussy.

Here, look, go buy Half-Life 1 --THE NON-SOURCE VERSION OF THE GAME OR ELSE THIS WON'T WORK-- and then download Afraid of Monsters: Director's Cut. I promise you that you will be scared and you will probably experience what is known as a "heart attack".

Here's the link where you can look at some infos for the game. http://www.moddb.com/mods/afraid-of-monsters-dc

Hey, We Aren't Dead.

2009-01-22T19:26:00.003-06:00

Seriously.

Like right now, I'm totally making full use of my lungs and heart and even some parts of my brain and stuff.

I just want you guys to know that I plan on posting and stuff I just need to get my head straight and my life on track. Lots of totally not awesome things going on with both me and Astrozombie(zaphodicles). I realize that we look tough and gritty and sexy and manly and totally hot and not fat on the outside but on the inside we are made of organs and blood and soft things and poop like babies. Sometimes our feelings get hurt. And sometimes the world is harder than our erections.

Sometimes.

But hey, its great material for art comics and movies. Totally.

Anyways, here is some content for you guys to consume. I stumbled upon my now favorite artist in the world. The page might take a while to load for you sub-humans out there because your internets is inferior but its well worth the wait.

This guy is up there with Salvador Dali in my awesome art list(its actually a kinda short list because of my bein all uncultured and whatnot).

Check him out and his creepy drawings that I sorta draw like

we have our own tv thingy

2009-01-05T18:17:00.003-06:00

check out the sidebar.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T11:01:00.002-06:00

Yeah, merry christmas. What did you all get?

I got The Clap.

Some banners

2008-12-23T12:24:00.003-06:00

I've worked on a few banner ideas, to welcome in the new year of slatfatfgoodness. Here are some, give me some feedback, or help me and create your own, post linkzorz to em.

ok.. I guess only one for now.

One Whole Year!

2008-12-22T20:43:00.007-06:00

The Dali

2008-12-22T18:48:00.008-06:00

I'm in Florida, as you know, and today I went to the Salvador Dali museum. Salvador Dali is the single most important artist in the 20th century surrealist painters movement. Anyways, this post isn't about him, so much as about his paintings.

He painted crazy crazy stuff, which is all open for interpretation, so lets go do that.

I'll post some pics, and then you guys tell me what they are about! FUN TIMES!

The first one I have is "The Enigma of William Tell" You guys remember william tell right? The dad that shot the apple off of his sons head? Well you guys suck. Shut up.

The Next is "Disappearing Bust of Voltaire" where there is a hidden face if you look closely!
or maybe you need to backup to see it...

The Next one is "geopoliticus Child watching the birth of a new man"

Good stuff, nothing like really really scary egg babies!

The next one is aptly named " The Grand Masturbator"

Boy I really understand this one. Especially the masturbator part.

The New Layout

2008-12-22T16:15:00.003-06:00

This is the new layout, including a brand new search feature. So if you ever feel like "Hey, I really really want to read some funny article about... The Current situation in France!" You can search for it! And then figure out all of our blog posts are about the EXACT same thing, leave, spiral into dark depression, and then come back to us.

Because we'll be here to pick up the broken peices of your heart.
We'll always be here.

Besides that, I'm in Florida again, doing some writing and vacationing. Fenghar is still in the cold, and still has computer issues. He made some hilarious videos spoofing the horrible tutorial vids you see on youtube all the time. Hopefully he can get those up here.

So watch out for layout changes, they will be happening often. Also I haven't gotten the podcast to embed on here yet, but it will be.

This is an Update

2008-12-20T21:26:00.004-06:00

This is an Update that is telling you that we are going to Update.

I am currently stocking up on comics and will get that stuff up soon.

Also, Zaphod is working on a new layout... I think...

Also, I'll be writing some movie reviews soon too.

Also, this is a reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to Update

Also, I'm planning on doing some movie stuff soon

Also, I'm planning doing something special for new year's probably

Also, I actually wasn't planing on doing something for new year's I just thought of doing that right now in the present so it wasn't really planned but I'm totally gonna plan something and then tell you about how I'm planning something

Also, I'm planning on planning on doing something special for new year's

Also, this is a reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to Update reminder

Also, I might write some more of those "I haven't slept in 3 days" non sequiters

Also, I believe my computer has been infected with some ad-ware or virus of some sort but I think Kaspersky might've cleaned it up a bit but I'm not sure and this computer is really starting to piss me off that its not fixed fully, but I still am glad that I can use it

Also, this is a reminder of the reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to update reminder

Also, I'll probably post something special for Christmas, too.

This is an Update telling you that we are going to Update

STUFF (continued)

2008-12-03T21:36:00.003-06:00

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Even though I may have said more on everything tomorrow what I meant was more on everything in a couple of weeks.

I'm sorry about that; I know I'm a whore, but suck it the fuck up and listen to what I have to say right now.

I was in a movie. It was mildly awesome. I clapped for a man in a medieval hobbit-ish outfit. I saw a big pretty camera. I got an erection.

I was in the same movie again, at a later time; different scene. It was a bit more awesome because I got to skate. I had my own scene. Scene 25. It was cool. I got an erection.

The movies name is "The Rock and Roll Dreams of Christopher Duncan". Or something like that.

I saw a movie. It was most definitely awesome. It goes by the name of Gummo. Now Bardiel will tell you its a bad movie and that it has no plot. Let me assure you, it is a bad movie. There is a very high chance you will not like this movie for several reasons.
Let me list some for you:

Its kinda scary in a "Let me get those shoes" kind of way. You'll get the joke once you watch it, which you will, because I know you can not contain that voracious curiosity melting your insides right now.
It does have a plot, but it is not an actual plot. Basically it starts with a cat and ends with a cat, but all the shit that happens in between, that ties in the beginning and the end is as loose as your mothers vageena. Good luck trying to follow it.
If you did not live in the shit south, or have any kind of connection to the shit south you will not like or understand this movie. Probably.
GOD DAMN THESE PEOPLE IS UGLY.
You might get the diabetes and die.

Really, it is a good movie. Harmony Korine(the director) did EXACTLY what he set out to do and broke some major fucking barriers in doing so. This movie is mindbending. If you don't get it or like it, join the club. Most people don't and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Its very "esoteric" if you will, but not in a cool high-culture kind of way. More in a "you are a creep, get away from me" kind of way. Really, just watch the movie so you can say that you have watched it and look like you know shit about shit when really you don't, like me. If you do like it pop me an email or a comment so we can lol about it and pretend its a really funny movie so maybe we don't have nightmares.

Next on the list....

Uhhhh

OH, I finished up filming for Blue Sunday. It was just a few outdoorsey shots and Adam actually did most of the dp-ing 'cause I suxors. Hopefully we can get that bitch edited so we can start work on "Mouth Action", the alias for our newest project that I have HIIIGH hopes for, or something else. Most likely something else*.

I helped edit Adam's murder/mystery movie thingie that he made and it was lol-tastic.

I think that covered it, Michael. Now, why don't you go shut the fuck up.

*We want, I believe, to let "Mouth Action" stew a bit in some of its own creative juices before we start in earnest on the writing. Meanwhile we'll begin on other, much lighter projects. I know I'm repeating myself, but I have high hopes for mouth action. I get this warm, sad, heavy, happy feeling in my chest whenever I think about it.

STUFF

2008-11-16T22:11:00.002-06:00

I was in a feature length movie and I saw gummo and I finished up filming for Blue Sunday and I helped edit a movie and I had an awesome time. Now I am tired and my back hurts and I need some sleep goodnight more on EVERYTHING tomorrow.

Linkzorz

2008-11-16T14:34:00.003-06:00

so we went crazy and deleted all of our well thought out links to megaupload with our torrents and shows in them. Sorry.

So as a thanksgiving (or whatever you people celebrate) present, we give you a txt file with all the links I have on my account.

Just email us at slatfatfmain@gmail.com and we will send you the text file. Dont worry, text files can't have viruses. It includes a bunch of stuff that you already know about. It's not like this costs you anything, so be sure to thank us!

We also will have a christmas gift for all of you later. Bye now!

oh and jacob's ladder is uploading onto megaupload, so i'll have the link in an hour

Oh sweet god why is that man moving his face so fast

2008-11-15T22:56:00.007-06:00

I sit here, in the brightly lit study of my house. The rest of my family is asleep, and has been for at least an hour. The house is nearly frozen, and nothing more would please me than to jump in my warm bed. The quiet hum of the laundry machine nearly lulls me to sleep. Then I realize, there is no way I will ever be sleeping again. Ever. I say this because I have just completed a late viewing of the most disturbing and impacting film I have ever seen. Ever.

Now what is this movie you are talking about, Zaphod? Is it the exorcist? that movie was pretty scary, right??!!

No, it wasn't. I honestly have never been truly scared by a movie besides The Shining. I think I'm forgetting some movie, but who gives a shit.

The Movie I am talking about is the 1990 film Jacob's Ladder. Now before you go "Oh I know how to use the internetz, LOLZZDF, let me go youtube up a trailer!!1!1112One11Eleven" Just fucking wait. Don't watch a trailer, don't see a fucking summary, don't listen to a goddamn podcast about it. Dont read a review, don't watch your tv, don't do anything. Just leave, and watch it. In fact, I'll fucking upload it for you to watch. That way, you never have to leave your chair, fatty. Ok, so to entice you to see it, since I know you won't watch it with just a demanding WATCH IT, i'll write a very quick, 100% spoiler free summary.

A war veteran is hallucinating horrific things. There, nuff said. Well maybe not. I watched this because I read somewhere that it influenced the silent hill video game series. Meaning, I must see it.

Honestly, I can't get enough of this film. I need to go buy it on dvd and watch every deleted scene and listen to every commentary track.

So just wait a while, and the movie will be uploaded onto megaupload for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EA05TJ2F

thats the link!

Defeat the Mongol Horde - wikiHow

2008-11-13T20:38:00.001-06:00

Defeat the Mongol Horde - wikiHow

How to Defeat the Mongol Horde

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Defeating the Mongol Horde is not as easy as one might think, but with this easy how-to you are a-shooin to win.

Steps

First Build some walls to prevent or slow down the Mongols from entering your territory.
The Mongols are tricky fellows, be sure to make sure you have account of all of your artisans and scientists as they may be captured to create siege weapons for the Mongols and then they will break into your wall.
When the Mongols eventually do come into your land submit as quickly and as courteously as possible to prevent any further damage to your provinces.
Wait until the Mongols get lazy and decide to settle down in your city, then spread discontent amongst the serfs and peasants.
Wait some more.
Wait EVEN more, remember patience is key.
Hurray! The Mongols were defeated by an army of former slaves!

Tips

Try to be sold as a slave by the Mongols to a city in the Middle East, then rise in power and become the leader of that city and command an army of former slaves into battle against the Mongols.
Mongols like to feign retreat and lead their foes into traps.
Try to avoid listening to rumors about the Mongol horde, they are most often spread by spies trying to freak you out.
Mongols are scary, but remember, they aren't immortal. A few stabs with a sword and the trick should be done.

Warnings

Mongols are excellent on horseback.
Beware: Mongols will come at the most inopportune of times, usually when your nation is in a state of decline.
Mongols have an excellent military.

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Defeat the Mongol Horde. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

WACKOW

2008-11-09T23:27:00.007-06:00

So I'm sitting here with three tabs open.

Facebook: talking through comments on my previous status about an upcoming church social event thing.

Blogger: Doing this, duuurrurrurhrrh

and

SongMeanings.net: Looking up the exact lyrics to "Fly on a Windshield" by Genesis so that I might take the last line and make it as my status on facebook.

And I'm looking at SongMeanings.net and I'm seeing this advertisement that is very strange. It is a .gif, that is, it is animated. And it shows the silhouette of a girl dancing, zooming in and out and in and out on her. She appears to be an amputee and there is this light shining out of her amputeed arm with sparkles floating everywhere else. The caption beside it reads: I want to earn my degree in less than 24 months! With 24 months being larger than the rest of the text and in the color red instead of blue.

And you ask yourself, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!?

And I tell you, well, it pretty much sums up my feeling of the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show...

First off, there was an inordinate amount of people there that had leg injuries. Every other mob or so of people had at least one guy in a wheelchair or walking with a support cane. This sickened me. Why, I do not know. But the fact remains, it did.

Second, everyone and their dog was wearing some form of hat. I even saw a man in a tophat. Now, I do realize that a lot of people wear hats and that its normal to see a lot of people wearing hats but I'm just saying that headware seemed to be one of the prevalant themes of the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show.

3. Food costs a lot

d. God damn there were a lot of leg cripples! I MEAN COME ON! They were everywhere! I couldn't turn my head without one of those sub-humans dirtying up my view with their ugly! Jesus Christ almighty, MAY HE BE PRAISED! Someone needs to get rid of 'em...

Furthermore, there are a lot of ugly and scary people at the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show. I mean scary as in Gummo* scary. Scary as in Donkey Boy** scary. FUCKIN' MESSES WITH YOUR MIND MAAAN!

In conclusion, I don't think I would want to ever go again because I'm probably gonna have nightmares

VII: There weren't enough modern weapons there. All they had were dueling pistols, injun jewery, furs, and stupid old rifles. Also, everyone screamed at me whenever I picked up the showcase weapons and pointed them at people making firing noises. Also ALSO, people apparently don't like it when you touch their antiques and try to dissassemble their WWI pistols. Assholes.

Clause 8, Subsection C, I got a basic lockpicking set there and I'm gonna break into everyone's house now...

OMEGA - Tasers are loud and scary.

THE END

*A movie that makes me and the Boatsmen cringe, scary children are scary.

**Another movie that makes at least me cringe but only a bit on this one part that the boatsmen showed me

***HEY THERE WEREN'T A WORD THAT HARD THREE ACTIRSISKSS!

****I don't care. Anyways I need to see those movies that I just mentioned and you should see them too so you can become filmlerned like I am beocomint D:PDP EEE!

HEY!

2008-11-09T11:53:00.002-06:00

HEY YOU I"M SORRY FOR NEGLECTING YOU!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU BE!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU!

HEY YOU

HEY

I plan on writing some silly commentary on the Tulsa Gun and Arms show for you guys so expect a post later today or something.

Some NEWS:

As you may very well possibly maybe know, Zaphod, The Boatsmen, and I have been working on a movie and we will probably have all of the shooting finished by the end of this week. After that we will rape up some editing and maybe JUUUUUST maybe you guys can see it. That is if there are still some of you left...

;-;

In other some NEWS:

I'm working on learning some instruments and maybe I might compose a little song. Also I'm working on these two new movies that will be good and you guys can't wait to see them I know it.

I"M COUNTING OUT TIME
GOT THE WHOLE THING DOWN BY NUMBERS
OH THOSE NUMBERS!

VOTING TOMORROW

2008-11-03T22:44:00.001-06:00

Go vote, whores.

2008-11-01T13:22:00.002-05:00

We have been banned at at least 3 schools. Our website that is. I checked!

I feel even more awesome
I also have a bit of a concussion
fenghar gave me the concussion

woopsies

2008-10-25T20:47:00.001-05:00

guess i didn't upload the actual podcast on gcast. Well it will be up ina minute, so just hang on

3 podcasts

2008-10-20T17:36:00.003-05:00

We have 3 uploads for today. 2 are special features for SLATFATF, and one is an actual podcast. Be sure to check out all of them, and not just the official podcast.

Episode info:
We interview a young filmmaker.

:D

2008-10-18T20:31:00.005-05:00

EXXXXCELLENT! We have just finished MOST of the shooting for a short film titled "Blue Sunday". Hopefully after we finish up and edit it will turn out good and I won't have to kill myself because I was the cameraman/director of photography. Zaphod was on the audio(he won't have to kill himself because the audio turned out amazing, he has wicked sexy boom operating skills...ladies). Our friend The Boatsman directed and wrote it. I think its a pretty sweet story and it will show through in my ~~AWESOME~~ shitty directing.

Also, we are planning on doing a nuther padscot feat. The Boatsman. We tried to do it tonight at his house but we had to return the shotgun mic and the handheld mic would not just shut its ~~jew~~ mouth. Whatev, we'll get it sometime during the week or next weekend.

Anyways, once this project gets finished Zaphod, The Boatsmen, and I will form a terrific trio and start cranking out a whole lot more so brace for win and awesome. In the meantime, you can pass the time with occasional masturbation. Masturbation releases calming endorphines into your system to help you unwind and relax after a long and stressful day. If you practice masturbation with your partner it can help with synchronization and increasing your ability to withstand prolonged sexual stimulation without orgasm. It can also cure cancer(maybe), cure baldness(probably not), and help you get all the ladies(Now thats just a straight up lie).

MASSSSSSSTURBATION *Guitar solo* NNNAANANANNANA TRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!

stop sign.

How to Configure Your HDTV for Proper Russian Translation and Communication

2008-10-15T14:04:00.003-05:00

Hey, fall break is happening RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW. That's good news for you because that means we might do something crazy and video tape it and/or draw a comic about it and/or write about it and then post on here and you won't have to cry yourself to sleep everynight.

Anyways, my lunch is here so peace out bitches.

October...

2008-10-13T16:20:00.004-05:00

Every time I look at July's post count I die a little bit on the inside.

Once we finally get this frackin' show started and posted there will be a lot more traffic and therefore a lot more reason to post. Its gonna be slow goins for a while though. Maybe I'll post my little picture story I'm doing on here or something. Where it goes, nobody knows. Post apocalyptic shit. Maybe it will turn out cool if I can stay on track with it.

B l a h.

I have an essay to do.

BYE.

God dammit

2008-10-08T07:33:00.002-05:00

To see a rape being committed in your dream, denotes sexual dysfunction or uncertainty.

Fuck.

http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/r.htm

Showtime!

2008-09-29T18:51:00.004-05:00

So last Friday Zaphod and I started working on a new project. A show about 4 men stuck at the bottom ocean. Wait two men. And a beaver. And a cat.

Funny little anecdote, Zaphod improvised an amazing theme song... and then completely forgot it. So we've been wracking our brains trying to find out what exactly the words were. Its safe to say I've gone far past insanity.

N E WAYZ, its lookin' pretty sexy so far. I've been charged with exterior set design so I'll be working on that this week. I'll probably take a few progress pictures and document the making of the show and maybe I'll post it up if it turns out to be halfway decent.

Sorry for the lack of posts, buds, that is if'n you are still reading this. Whores. Sluts. Lecherous SWINE.

Here's the stats for the show:

Director: Zaphod Beeblebrox
Co-Director: FengharTheNord
Actors: Zaphod*, Fenghar, Cat**, Beaver***
Set Design: Fenghar
Writers: Zaphod, Fenghar
DP: Zaphod, Fenghar*
Gaffer: Stanly Cruster
Animal Wrangler: William Jenkinson
Music: Fenghar on the Harmonica, Zaphod on the lyrics, and Both on the Vocals
Producer: Slatfatf productions****
Stuntmen: Clevis Nagrom, Hideo Nakijima, Terrence Swillwater, Sven Taxit, Spork Mannington, Rodney Blackshoot, Tim Handcock
Fannypack Sprucer: Travis Hepling

*He might not want to act in it...
**Zaphod's puppet, Voiced by me or Zaphod (idk)
***My puppet, Voiced by me or Zaphod (again, idk)
****Name Subject to change

Also, we might sign some other people on as well...

P.S. Can't wait for House Tuesday...

Also, this.

2008-09-19T23:13:00.005-05:00

Also, this.

FARGE!

2008-09-19T22:57:00.002-05:00

Argh, so Zaphod and I have been supersupersick lately and I haven't gotten around to doing a silly vlog yet so I'm sorry about that. I might do one tomorrow though. Maybe.

Check out his other stuff its loltastic, especially anything to do with tequila or mumbler/bartle-doo.

xoxo
~Mom

To protect the world from devastation!

2008-09-15T18:39:00.003-05:00

To unite all people within our nation!

This is the 100th post. In it I will type 100 words starting...

NOW:

Actually, no. I was just kidding about that nonsense. I wish I could do something special for you guys like show you the silly story I made out of pictures. Unfortunately this is a cruddy laptop that doesn't have the silly pictures made for the story. :Sadface: Also, the story involves shooping some of the da whooping which is wholly inappropriate for virgin eyes such as yours.

HEY GUESS WHAT CHICKIN BUTT!

You know what is really super extra awesome fun?! Nothing. Now get the fuck out of my house you two-timing, lecherous WHORE!

Ack, this is a horrible 100th post. Hopefully the 101st will be a hilarious vlog featuring Zaphod and me but I doubt it on account of the fact that Zaphod will probably just show you to another sweet music video or talk about how much goddamn awesome games he just bought. Asshole.

Ps. I can't wait to watch house tomorrow, omgo omgo mgomg!qqq111

Pss. I'm tired of this tuberculosis! OMGOGMOGMGOds!1111

PSsSSsss!S. I'm actually very seriously considering this vlog thing and already have a outline of it all ups in mah noggins.

Also, I wanna do some comics real soon

Also Also, I just hit my funny bone AKA you lost the game.

Great Job!

2008-09-14T14:56:00.003-05:00

Just posting to show that I'm alive and well. I'm thinking of baking up a nice little vlog real soon so expect to be fed a delicious and vomit un-inducing meal within the next 73.38 hours. It will be a nice clean match, south lawrence rules with a little hanky panky on the side. Don't count on seeing my face though. I have to hide my identity to protect myself and the ones I love.

Meanwhile...

In other news...

On the other side of the galaxy...

A man and his dog are going for a walk into a bar, the blonde bartender turns to the horse and says I'll give you three wishes. The horse dies the next day and at the funeral a preacher, a rabbi, and a muslim guy are arguing over golf rules when all of a sudden god comes out of the sky and everyone is all like "Jesus, I had no idea you wore pants"! During the apocalypse one cop turns to the other and is like "Telephone, I thought you said Megaphone!" Cue canned laughter and a shot of Jimmy Hoffa's face. A tsunami rolls into town and walks into the nearest saloon, kicking open the swinging doors with startling fury. Inside the dimly lit cave there is a horeshoe, a car salesman, and an oriental vase. Your exits are north, south, and east. If you choose to dig up the grave, turn to page 70. If you choose to go back the way you came turn to page 21. Ashes to ashes, funk to funky. I like cookies extra chunky. Seacrest...

OUT!

Podcasting fun

2008-09-11T20:09:00.003-05:00

Well we casted last night, but it wasn't up until today. Wonder why? Well we could not remember how to stop recording. FUn fun fun.
Enjoy it hoes. We still aren't updating much. Maybe a film this weekend!

awesome.

2008-09-10T22:57:00.002-05:00

You Dont Know Me (featuring Regina Spektor)

thanks fintron.

oh, and same directors, slightly older

working working working

2008-09-10T21:15:00.004-05:00

Well, I'm bringing a dvd to show in class tomorrow at school that will possibly get me kicked out of school. Yay!
Fenghar's computer is still broken.
I'm still tired and wasted.
And All's right in the universe. Large Hadron collider turned on today/yesterday, according to NPR this morning. It made the loop and bam, blackhole.
New podcast tonight, maybe. Check back later.

Spore, id super pack, games games games

2008-09-06T15:12:00.002-05:00

WOWZA!

I bought spore a few days ago, got the pre-download, and now I'm all ready to unlock it once it turns midnight tonight. Another big thing that happened today, STEAM has a sale on all iD software games. Id is the publisher that brought you classics such as Wolfenstein, Quake, Doom, Hexen, heretic, and so much more. I just bought all of the id software games in what steam calls a "superpack" for 35 bucks. Freakin awesome. Anywho, I just wondered if anyone was still playing quake and doom. If so, give me your steam id fool.

Using Microsoft Word 2007 to blog

2008-09-01T13:49:00.002-05:00

Yeah, whatever. Just testing if this system works.

Ma gawd

2008-08-26T22:00:00.003-05:00

Holy crap. We were posting every day. Now we don't. Uh oh.
Well good viewers, me and fenghar are working on many a project, including but not limited to:
Programming
Pornogramming
Artifacting
Acolading
Sacofading

etc.

In reality, we are really busy with the start of business season...aka school. But we have several things planned, including:
pornographics

and of course video uploads. I honestly have been RIDICULOUSLY busy right now. I'm programming/designing this website for these fools with too much time on their hands. Also, I have to help them work on bullshit like hooking up internet... and logging them on the server...
wow.

Amazing.

2008-08-21T19:20:00.005-05:00

Now I play a little harmonica now and then but I mainly can only do chords on account of the fact that I suck at harmonica. This guy is amazing, I don't know how he doesn't hyperventilate. Check out him and other amazing artists under the same uploader. I think its some kind of record label that promotes specialized instrumentalists. Or something. Idk.

Friday!

2008-08-18T15:30:00.005-05:00

So, Saturday I finally saw "The Dark Knight" and if you haven't seen it yet you should be taken out to the edge of town and stoned. I should be taken out to the edge of town and stoned for not seeing it earlier. Anyways, it was awesome and Heath Ledger was phenomenal and Aaron Eckhart (or whatever his name is) was phenomenal as well and blah blah blah, you've probably heard this all already. See it, it was good, and there will probably be quite a few awards tacked onto Heath Ledger's grave come award-time season place.

So, now it is Monday, three days since we posted up our first podcast and we're wondering, did you like it? I know its basically an hour full of nonsense, but I think there are few funny tidbits here and there. I'm really anxious to get a few comments about it that aren't from fintron or the other passengers of the mystery van. And by that I mean the people we know IRL. So, drop me an email or something, fools. I'm dying of curiosity! And also a mild kidney failure, but that's beside the point.

So, soon it will be Friday again and hopefully, with a little help from our viewers via some sexy suggestions/questions, we'll have another podcast up, but this time it will have to do with actual real life shit and not morrowind or how we are french teenagers playing sexual games in 1970's paris.("The Dreamers" Reference - its a movie)

Test-cast... pod..cast?

2008-08-15T23:52:00.003-05:00

So we made a podcast, basically testing out sound quality, editing programs, export details, encoders, uploaders, etc. Has no subject, whatsoever. We talk about lost, half life 2, dragon ball z, emo phillips, and everything else you can imagine. But we are talking off topic, completely. Also, My laugh sounds loud... very loud. It's mainly because of what we are recording on, but I'm also just a loud person. You know. Listen or don't, its just me and fenghar talking.

Podcast News

2008-08-14T15:31:00.003-05:00

So, as Zaphod and I try to work with our hectic and very sexy schedules to start the long and ardous process of making a 5 to 15 minute spodcat I decided to update you on teh infos of when that will probably be uploaded. Sometime around late friday night or saturday morning we will have our silky smooth baritone voices recorded using a semi-cruddy ps2 headset and edited by audacity. Or something. I don't know what exactly this spodcat is supposed to be about, but it will probably have to do with penises and/or vaginas. Probably not vaginas on account of our teenage naivete about the majestic female innerworkings. My knowledge of female sexy parts is purely limited to the H-Game "Water Closet".

Anyways, I hope the podcast will be good and that you guys like it and maybe you'll laugh a bit more than you do when you read the writings of this novice. Me and Zaphod can be pretty funny in teh IRLs with our reminiscing of shows no one knows about like "Big Bad Beetleborgs". We have ridiculous senses of humour and can take things most people find plain or boring and make them shit and giggle hilarities. But hey, there are some people out there that don't get us, or find us offensive. We can get a little racy sometimes. For instance, sometimes I say some pretty audacious things like "tallywacker", or "twinkietits". Just giving you a warning. So, check out mine and Zaphod's sexy voices sometime around fraturday.

Boogedy Boogedy

2008-08-12T22:45:00.003-05:00

Long time no see, biotches. As you already know, I was in NY state fer 3 weeks and I didn't have access to a suitable computational module for my daily sexy input. I have a sorta ok one now. I still won't be posting much though, on account of the fact that I'm at my dad's for family crisis reasons(I'll talk to you about it on msn tomorrow, zaphod). Suffice to say I've been having a bit of a rough month. So, whatever. You guys can go have sex with your ho's or whatever it is that you young kids do today.

Working hard, not time!

2008-08-12T21:19:00.002-05:00

we are working full speed, defcon 2, torpedoes armed, steady freddy, jack swift, john bottom, GO!

actually, I'm the only one working... Fenghar still isn't back from nyc..

which is strange since school starts in 2 days.

Check out the new logo!
Few more edits, and I'll be done with it.

Give us some feedback on it!

Contact info

2008-08-09T02:02:00.004-05:00

.So we have some new contact info for you. (boring post is boring)
First, we created an email for the site:
slatfatfmain@gmail.com

you can use this to reach us and tell us what a good job we are doing, and all of our hours of posting, commenting, recoding, searching, are not going to waste. Also, tell us how bad the other writer of this website is, how he never posts anymore, how he is dumping the workload onto the sexy, smart, vuluptous other writer.
Yeah.
If you need to conact Zaphod specifically:
MSN: bardiel13th@hotmail.com
YAHOO messenger: bardielx13xangel
AIM: bardielx13xangel
Vuze: Bardiel
Xfire: Bardiel13th
email: bardiel13th@gmail.com

If you need to contact Fenghar specifically (he is going to have a shitfit when he finds out i put his info out here):
MSN: parodoxpenguin@hotmail.com
AIM: fengharthenord
VUZE: ohblueeyes20
xfire: fengharthenord
email: fengharthenord@gmail.com

This post will later be placed on our contact page... mebbe

oh, and our podcast has been created...
http://www.gcast.com/u/Slatfatf/main

I don't know if that link actually works, but we haven't "casted" yet. But you should subscribe anyways... because i love you

Film: La Cabina

2008-08-08T23:46:00.004-05:00

Good evening, slatfat'ers... Today is a travel day for me, so don't expect anything today... even though its 1 am my time. I head on back home today from 6 weeks in beautiful Florida. I think 6 weeks might be a bit of a long vacation, but in my line of work, I need it.
Anyways last night (2 hours ago) I started upload the short film "La Cabina". This excellent film exceeded all my expectations and has actually had an impact on how I write film now. A thing I notice with almost all Spanish film is that (boring part for all of you non-filmers) the actors tend to speak softly, or not at all. Most of the film is conveyed through expressions on the face or body. and this film is no exception

So more info for the movie that you hopefully will download. It is a story about a man who finds a phone booth in the middle of a park, and steps inside. What follows next is the bulk of the story, and you had better prepare to be shocked. This is a horror film, but not gory in any sense. In fact, and I dread calling it this, but it could be a science fiction film. But I wouldn't go that far. Let's just say if you like interesting movies with unique, twilight zone plot twists, watch it.

Genre: Horror/art film

rating: 10/10

parental rating: NO GORE or SEX at ALL. This is 100% appropriate to watch around youngsters... although they may not understand all of it.

Subtitles: INCLUDED! because I rock. If your media player cannot handle subtitles, don't worry, there are literally 10 lines of dialogue in this movie, so subtitles are unessential.

Are you wondering why I am suddenly upping films? Well, several of you voted that you disliked the variety/lack of Downloads.... So here is something different!

I take no credit whatsoever for ripping this film. The original film is from a torrent website.

I hope to upload more films later. bold will not turn off for some reason, so rest of post is in bold! yay!

download link: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=A72JQANJ
password: phonebooth

Surveyness

2008-08-07T11:17:00.005-05:00

So the construction time was short, admittedly. But that's not the issue here. The issue is you. Click the nifty sidebar link to survey monkey and fill out the survey!
DO IT NOW!

under construction.. again

2008-08-06T23:28:00.000-05:00

we will be back after a message from our Benefactors.

Venture 310, Tim and Eric 301-302

2008-08-06T14:08:00.006-05:00

We got a crazy amount of uploads today, 3!!!
mindblowing.
So first we have Venture Bros 310:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SZCUMQ02
password: timanderic

Then we have 2 episodes of tim and eric awesome show
301:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QWVVO3GY
password: tinytigers

302:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=COTVV59B
password: jackie

Ok, Seriously

2008-08-05T15:46:00.003-05:00

Good news: Slatfatf grows in views every day.
Now that's not all of the good news. We get a large percentage of views oversea. A large number from South Korea, Ireland, Canada, Russia, UK, Spain. These numbers are absolutely fantastic! But do people only come here for the tv show downloads we provide? Or is there more to it? Do you enjoy our banter? our saucy play on words?
We want to hear from YOU!
YES YOU!
As you read, I am creating a survey that NO ONE ELSE will see except for me and Fenghar. Just fill it out, click the send button, and it basically emails us with the data. None of the info is mandatory (you can lie about your name and location if you want). We just really want to know what you think!

Amazing Genesis covers

2008-08-05T02:34:00.009-05:00

I was browsing the interwebs today, and I found a cool little youtube vid with one of my favorite Genesis songs, Harlequin. The image for the song had an AWESOME remake of the albumart for Nursery Cryme. So I found the rest of the guys stuff:
here is the original artwork for nursery cryme

and here is the new one:

I also found one for Foxtrot and Lamb lies down. Foxtrot's original is below

and the reworking:

And finally lamb lies down (which you won't understand the rework if you haven't heard or know of the lore of the album)

and the new one:

Check out his other artwork. His name is David Raphael
http://genesislive.ning.com/profile/DavidRaphael

Sorry

2008-08-05T00:38:00.003-05:00

I'm real sorry about the lack of posts recently, since we usually update at least once a day. The main reason is that Fenghar The Nord, the other Author on this website, has been in New York on vacation. I don't know all the details, but he supposedly has to do some hard labor. I doubt he has computer access, so he's probably crying his eyes out in pain/lack of LCD exposure. I, on the other hand, am in beautiful St. Petersburg, Florida. It's pretty nice here, beaches, all that good stuff, but I've been here for 6 weeks, and it's time to go back home. Here are a few things I have been doing recently:

Learning PHP language code
watching the 3rd and 4th seasons of Battlestar Galactica
listening to several podcasts (I'm especially partial to the Galactica Quorum podcast)
buying the brakshow for 8 bucks, including shipping, on ebay
buying an nVidia 8400 card for 40 bucks (WIN!)
Beating half life 2 again
Playing every mod I possibly can for Half Life 2
playing Defcon (very fun indie game, recommend demo)
enjoying season 3 of venture bros
enjoying season 3 of tim and eric awesome show great job
watching ALL of the lord of the Rings extended cut films
not taking a shower every day
eating baklava
not shaving for 6 weeks (don't worry, I shaved yesterday)
not getting the score I wanted on the AP test (shit)
writing my 5th screenplay
falling in love
not reading
not uploading venture bros the day or next day of release
sitting on the beach

So there you have it. 20 things I have been doing.
Venture bros will be up in a while, maybe soon, maybe later. Just depends.
I'm tired, but my laundry isn't done.

Breaking study

2008-07-28T19:10:00.002-05:00

Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics

Stay tuned for Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! episode 301

Venture 309

2008-07-28T18:57:00.003-05:00

Zippadeedodah!
Here is your Venture Bros season 3 episode 9
Now Museum, Now you don't!
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JVJ9K9NT
password: brakshow

Officially up

2008-07-28T15:19:00.003-05:00

yesh, we are up now!
there are still going to be some bugs with the template (this is basically a replacement while I create one entirely from scratch). Later today, within a few hours, I will have the high quality rip of Venture Bros 309 up. I will have a comic up today, mebbe. My brak show dvds came in, so that's what I will be doing for most of today...

Still under construction

2008-07-25T23:47:00.005-05:00

We are still undergoing some last changes, but the new venture bros aired tonight, so did tim and eric on adult swim.com
So i made a web rip for you non americans
Venture:
password: slatfatfrocks
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DEMYXGZQ

Tim and Eric:
password: slatfatfconstruction
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JVYQ4T7Y

arg sorry for the delay... i got sidetracked with hl2 deathmatch mod Zombie Panic
If you can't play these on your current media player, go get VLC Media Player.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

2008-07-25T15:39:00.002-05:00

watch out!
the layout is going to be a bit buggy while I change some of the coding for it...
But i'm sure you don't even read this site anyways!

2008-07-24T23:40:00.002-05:00

When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I turned forty, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. And then I made it to sixty, and I realized no one was ever thinking of me. -bob hope

Haircut

2008-07-24T16:50:00.003-05:00

I got one. I'm not sure if I like it yet, but I can be very picky with things like that. Whatever, its short and it doesn't make me sweat profuse amounts of sweat...stuff. I'd show you a picture if you guys weren't rapists. W/e. I go to New York tomorrow so that's cool. I guess this will be my last post for the next two weeks so see you then. Hopefully I'll have lots of pictures and video that I won't show you guys because you are rapists.

Probably haven't seen this yet

2008-07-24T00:07:00.002-05:00

This is a very recent vid (RSS FEEDS FOR THE CHAMPION)

Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream