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When you are in the movie business(That is, the business of making movies) like me and Zaphod are(That is, Zaphod and I) you hear a lot of wild and crazy things(That is, crazy and wild). Things like: "Necrophilia" or "I swear to god, I didn't shoot him. Please, I have a wife and children" or "Post-processing"(That is, processing after the fact). These things, while interesting,(That is, in a scary sort of way) have nothing to do with what about I'm about to tell you.

You can find cheese in canned form. I KID YOU NOT! You may be saying to yourself
"But Fenghar, what would be the purpose of cheese in a can? I get along fine with cheese a la wedge."
Well, can you easily spread cheesed wedge onto crackers?
"Yes, soft cheeses like brie or feta are perfect for crackers or any other snacks of the crunchy and salty variety"
Shut the fuck up, no you can't.
"But Y-"
No. You can't.
"O-o-ok..."
Good...

Now, onto the other uses of cheese of the can. For one thing, you can squirt it directly into your mouth cutting out the crumbly biscuit(That is, British crackers) middleman for maximum snacking efficiency. Or, you can squirt it on a cake, like icing. Or administer it to cuts or scrapes to stop bleeding and promote healthy, scar free tissue. Or use it to get out troublesome stains. Or use it to clean grout. Or use it as an all natural antiperspirant. Or use it to clean grout. Or use it on small children to make them disappear or go mute. Or use it to clean grout. There are so many different uses for pressurized cheese contained in metal that its perfect as a stocking stuffer for that mom who is always on the run.(That is, from the law)

This is where the segway would go, if it weren't on vacation in the Peruvian highlands of Massachusetts.

Small news update. If you didn't notice, Zaphod posted the phirst comic of a infinite part series. Hopefully, when my printer stops being a childish bitch, I'll be able to post a delicious comic for you straight from my greasy loins.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Did you know chicken can come in a can?

yeah gross.

Astrozombie said...

Anything out of a can is about 10x cooler and .5x delicious. (or maybe its the other way around... I wouldn't know, for I have no tongue to speak of)