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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
BALLOON STORY
This is a story about a balloon and...
...his new best friend.
TO BE CONT.?
This is a story about a balloon and...
...his new best friend.
TO BE CONT.?
11 April 2009
First up on the mic is Feng to the Har
Shinin out poetry just like a star
Fuse on the muse exploding in hues
Colors define the lines and the spaces
Cutting out rythyms and Shapin the faces
Of the lyrics that are written but never sung
and the pages that are typed but are never hung
on the bindings of the books that are never read
From the words that are floatin 'round my head
somethin somethin somethin....bread?
AWWWW SHIT HERE IT COMES
THURSDAY NIGHT POETRY SLAM
Peace in Dust
these dusty old Bones
were once filled with groans
of fears that once did start
this dusty old Heart
and from these dusty old Lungs
came screams that were sung
from the agonies sustained
in this dust old Brain
in this dusty old Mouth
was held the sounds of the deep south
that never escaped past the lipst till demise
one final gasp adn the closiing of these dusty old Eyes
and all this dust is accumulated in this dusty old Tomb
my final resting place, my eternal womb
and I'm lowered down into this dusty ground unceremoniously
now words are spoken, no one knows me
And in this dust, I have found Peace.
AND NOW A POEM ABOUT MY TAINT
Buttered, Jammed, Honeyed, or Hammed
My Taint is t'aint ready to be viciously manned
So please be careful when preparing your festive feast
upon the place that grows my yeast
THAT WAS INNAPROPRIATE PORNOGRAPHY KILLS SOTP
Continued from the last haiku story
AND
I
FELL
up into the sky
right into reality
blood was everywhere
i had staved them off
a voice in my head had told me
i am not yet dead
i left that coffin
hoping to find a saviour
instead stepped in blood
more blood everywhere
people rising so strangely
caught up from puddles
sky had been bleeding
ground had been stealing the souls
some people didn't rise
my eyes ached they spun
wretched out once, twice now i'm done
no one noticed me
my legs moved alone
independent of my needs, wants
i didn't know where
moving through the cries
shoving my way through the screams
i start to forget
lost identity
i tore through time silently
lost language, lost soul
bodies became ghosts
i've fallen behind myself
but i think no thoughts
i ran through the world
i collapsed in to its core
from my mouth crept dark
conciousness rose once
reminding me i'm hungry
but there is no i'm
we've become the core
we cry silence we eat souls
we always hunger
SURE WHATEVER I DON'T CARE GOD- JUST BE SURE TO CHECK OUT NEXT THURSDAY'S HAIKU STORY
Shinin out poetry just like a star
Fuse on the muse exploding in hues
Colors define the lines and the spaces
Cutting out rythyms and Shapin the faces
Of the lyrics that are written but never sung
and the pages that are typed but are never hung
on the bindings of the books that are never read
From the words that are floatin 'round my head
somethin somethin somethin....bread?
AWWWW SHIT HERE IT COMES
THURSDAY NIGHT POETRY SLAM
Peace in Dust
these dusty old Bones
were once filled with groans
of fears that once did start
this dusty old Heart
and from these dusty old Lungs
came screams that were sung
from the agonies sustained
in this dust old Brain
in this dusty old Mouth
was held the sounds of the deep south
that never escaped past the lipst till demise
one final gasp adn the closiing of these dusty old Eyes
and all this dust is accumulated in this dusty old Tomb
my final resting place, my eternal womb
and I'm lowered down into this dusty ground unceremoniously
now words are spoken, no one knows me
And in this dust, I have found Peace.
AND NOW A POEM ABOUT MY TAINT
Buttered, Jammed, Honeyed, or Hammed
My Taint is t'aint ready to be viciously manned
So please be careful when preparing your festive feast
upon the place that grows my yeast
THAT WAS INNAPROPRIATE PORNOGRAPHY KILLS SOTP
Continued from the last haiku story
AND
I
FELL
up into the sky
right into reality
blood was everywhere
i had staved them off
a voice in my head had told me
i am not yet dead
i left that coffin
hoping to find a saviour
instead stepped in blood
more blood everywhere
people rising so strangely
caught up from puddles
sky had been bleeding
ground had been stealing the souls
some people didn't rise
my eyes ached they spun
wretched out once, twice now i'm done
no one noticed me
my legs moved alone
independent of my needs, wants
i didn't know where
moving through the cries
shoving my way through the screams
i start to forget
lost identity
i tore through time silently
lost language, lost soul
bodies became ghosts
i've fallen behind myself
but i think no thoughts
i ran through the world
i collapsed in to its core
from my mouth crept dark
conciousness rose once
reminding me i'm hungry
but there is no i'm
we've become the core
we cry silence we eat souls
we always hunger
SURE WHATEVER I DON'T CARE GOD- JUST BE SURE TO CHECK OUT NEXT THURSDAY'S HAIKU STORY
09 April 2009
Hairy Hobos
Really, this joke is only funny if you lol'd at the Underworld 3 Trailer as much as me and Astrozombie did.
Really, this joke is only funny if you lol'd at the Underworld 3 Trailer as much as me and Astrozombie did.
08 April 2009
Poem 1: Hunting
The first poem I wrote today. Here we go:
gunpowder smoke
licks his nose
tingling pain
no feeling in toes
drunk on power
lowest of lows
screaming in distance
the fleeing of crows
02 April 2009
I was inspired recently, so I shall share with you some poetry I wrote. Astrozombie will post some of his own soon too.
Here we go:
Heat Lightning
Hot Miami Night
Spark in the alleyway
bright loud night
Smoke and Blood trail from a hole in a man who is already broken
A crimson smile drips from his face
Sick Grin, Dead Man
Gunpowder Derby
That was not a serious poem. Really, I just wanted to write gunpowder derby at the end of something. So I wrote that.
Robot Lovin
Hard to Get
Stuck it in an Oven
Burnt a bit
Sexy readout voice
Tempted me
So I made the choice
Preemptively
Mechanical Abstinence
No more stuffin' cogs
Now I'll waste my pence
On stuffin some dogs
That was an inappropriate poem. I'm sorry for that. I won't do that again. Actually I will so shut up.
At the peak of day
I laid there, back susspended
I felt floating, though there was hard rock
beneath me
My Brother was waiting
Two sandy obelisks pierce the sky
There are Holy words on them
Words spoken, listened to, etched in, and saved
above me
My Brother was waiting
A man dressed in blood stained jewelry was speaking
I did not hear, for the words he spoke were for
the huddled peoples, at the base of the pyramid
below me
My Brother was waiting
Something caught my eye
The man held silver in his raised right hand
So sharp it cut the sun
above me
My Brother was waiting
The people's muttered prayers rose to a cacophony of wails
The man's hand came down upon me
The orgy reached climax as I, separated, spun freely
below me
My Brother was waiting
The faces curdled and mixed and swirled
But at the bottom I recognized one settled in a crimson puddle
As the roaring drained out of my ears I heard a whisper
I knew
Above me, my Brother was waiting.
STOP LAUGHING AT ME I'M AN ARTIST SHUT UP I HATE YOU
Now, for the first part of the first installment in my new series of Haiku Stories that I am announcing right now. Take it like a man.
i woke up in there
strange familiarity
"this can't be my house"
blood stained the walls- floor
screams below cracked the silence
i grabbed my tin bat
i tore down the stairs
it wasn't too dark to see
i didn't want to
for there stood a man
and there laid my family
dead, torn, and broken
i don't remember
can't tell if I was screaming
but I killed that man
something had happened
my vision started to blur
there was a sharp silence
the white seemed nothing
muddled faces surrounded
i ached all over
all mouths were empty
opened wide for some purpose
a darkness swept out
their feet touched no ground
i was covered in silence
their hands never moved
i heard a noise though
more though like i felt a noise
a friendly face shown
he swung a barbed club
breaking the mouths of demons
"lets go" he told me
we broke out of there
but we were closely followed
their numbers increased
his pace fell behind
his screams never broke my gait
it wasn't my fault
it wasn't my fault
they kept following
it wasn't my fault
i lost my movement
legs pumped; but i stayed in place
sobs shook my body
they came in closer
Oh please it wasn't my fault
then everything stopped
AND
I
FELL
Okie dokie, I'll go round up Astrozombie and get him to post his now.
Drop me a comment mebbe?
Here we go:
Heat Lightning
Hot Miami Night
Spark in the alleyway
bright loud night
Smoke and Blood trail from a hole in a man who is already broken
A crimson smile drips from his face
Sick Grin, Dead Man
Gunpowder Derby
That was not a serious poem. Really, I just wanted to write gunpowder derby at the end of something. So I wrote that.
Robot Lovin
Hard to Get
Stuck it in an Oven
Burnt a bit
Sexy readout voice
Tempted me
So I made the choice
Preemptively
Mechanical Abstinence
No more stuffin' cogs
Now I'll waste my pence
On stuffin some dogs
That was an inappropriate poem. I'm sorry for that. I won't do that again. Actually I will so shut up.
At the peak of day
I laid there, back susspended
I felt floating, though there was hard rock
beneath me
My Brother was waiting
Two sandy obelisks pierce the sky
There are Holy words on them
Words spoken, listened to, etched in, and saved
above me
My Brother was waiting
A man dressed in blood stained jewelry was speaking
I did not hear, for the words he spoke were for
the huddled peoples, at the base of the pyramid
below me
My Brother was waiting
Something caught my eye
The man held silver in his raised right hand
So sharp it cut the sun
above me
My Brother was waiting
The people's muttered prayers rose to a cacophony of wails
The man's hand came down upon me
The orgy reached climax as I, separated, spun freely
below me
My Brother was waiting
The faces curdled and mixed and swirled
But at the bottom I recognized one settled in a crimson puddle
As the roaring drained out of my ears I heard a whisper
I knew
Above me, my Brother was waiting.
STOP LAUGHING AT ME I'M AN ARTIST SHUT UP I HATE YOU
Now, for the first part of the first installment in my new series of Haiku Stories that I am announcing right now. Take it like a man.
i woke up in there
strange familiarity
"this can't be my house"
blood stained the walls- floor
screams below cracked the silence
i grabbed my tin bat
i tore down the stairs
it wasn't too dark to see
i didn't want to
for there stood a man
and there laid my family
dead, torn, and broken
i don't remember
can't tell if I was screaming
but I killed that man
something had happened
my vision started to blur
there was a sharp silence
the white seemed nothing
muddled faces surrounded
i ached all over
all mouths were empty
opened wide for some purpose
a darkness swept out
their feet touched no ground
i was covered in silence
their hands never moved
i heard a noise though
more though like i felt a noise
a friendly face shown
he swung a barbed club
breaking the mouths of demons
"lets go" he told me
we broke out of there
but we were closely followed
their numbers increased
his pace fell behind
his screams never broke my gait
it wasn't my fault
it wasn't my fault
they kept following
it wasn't my fault
i lost my movement
legs pumped; but i stayed in place
sobs shook my body
they came in closer
Oh please it wasn't my fault
then everything stopped
AND
I
FELL
Okie dokie, I'll go round up Astrozombie and get him to post his now.
Drop me a comment mebbe?
I like bukake
Once I get a tablet these will look so much better, honest and for truly!
Once I get a tablet these will look so much better, honest and for truly!
30 March 2009
We have 150 posts!
That's a lot.
Anyways, here's yo next comic! A slight break from the apocalyptic theme- depending on how you look at it.
I'm gonna try to do hand-drawn comics from now on because they are quicker and less frustrating to do. I'll also try to learn how to colorize on the compy.
I'll also also learn how to draw better :(
This comic deals with rage related to aquatic animals.
That's a lot.
Anyways, here's yo next comic! A slight break from the apocalyptic theme- depending on how you look at it.
I'm gonna try to do hand-drawn comics from now on because they are quicker and less frustrating to do. I'll also try to learn how to colorize on the compy.
I'll also also learn how to draw better :(
This comic deals with rage related to aquatic animals.
28 March 2009
Today, we see our hero gettin' a bit saucy with Abaddon.
Hurm, hope this post works right...
EDIT: It didn't, but it gives me hope! If I downsize my images I can make them fit on this layout real nice- and if we get a better css template then maybe we can find one with a nicely expanded main column so it will be even better for comic and picture placement and I won't have to thumbnail everything or cut it together.
It might also allow me to do alt text which- even with the images straight up on the page(rather than thumbnailed) didn't seem to be appearing. HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO DO WEBCOMICS!
Hurm, hope this post works right...
EDIT: It didn't, but it gives me hope! If I downsize my images I can make them fit on this layout real nice- and if we get a better css template then maybe we can find one with a nicely expanded main column so it will be even better for comic and picture placement and I won't have to thumbnail everything or cut it together.
It might also allow me to do alt text which- even with the images straight up on the page(rather than thumbnailed) didn't seem to be appearing. HOW FRUSTRATING IT IS TO DO WEBCOMICS!
25 March 2009
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