Indiana Jones at 8:46 PM

Another night at the movies. Popcorn in one hand, an ice cold (flat) Coke in the other. I was going to do it. I was going to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Was I in for a thrillride? A faithful Classic? Or perhaps a bomb? Yeah.

You remember Han Solo right? I think he played Harrison Ford in Blade Runner. Anyways, so Han Solo is in the jungle for some weird reason, far away from the deathstar, so I guess this must be another prequel. Anyways, this Indiana Jones had no little asian children in it, so I already lost interest. Also, the story is, get this, based around ALIENS!!! what the fuck is that? Aliens? I know Spielberg made this, so like maybe he was just like "lets slip in some E.T." and Lucas is too fat to know the difference. BOOSH (frisky dingo reference). A good thing is the fact Shy labuffanuff is in it. That kid from Even Stevens. Yeah I watch Disney channel, you got a problem with that? I've gotten in many a fights because of Even Stevens, but its worth it. Gotta fight for your right to party.

Real review: The movie itself was "fun". This means exactly what I just said, fun, not good. One thing I loved about the previous Indiana movies is the fact that the special effects were over the top. Like a boulder chasing Indy in the cave, or ripping a beating heart out. This movie on the other hand, has actually good special effects. Blech. Also, only 1 snake joke. What the fuck??SNAKES MAN!! they should be all over the place. I want the opening scene to be snakes. I think the title should be Indiana Jones and snakes. God dammit. The story was bland, and needed some work. Basically, Aliens. Thats it. Blanchett was awesome though, she played a russian chick (the bad guy of course). Russians are always bad guys. Some of the characters from the old movies come back in this one, which is nice. unfortunately, Like most old people, they are crusty. So yeah, it's a fun movie and has one of the coolest carchase scenes ever. Whatever.

So rating: 2/5 stars. Seeing as average is 2.5/5 is average.