Defeat the Mongol Horde - wikiHow at 8:38 PM

Defeat the Mongol Horde - wikiHow

How to Defeat the Mongol Horde

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Defeating the Mongol Horde is not as easy as one might think, but with this easy how-to you are a-shooin to win.

Steps

1. First Build some walls to prevent or slow down the Mongols from entering your territory.
   
2. The Mongols are tricky fellows, be sure to make sure you have account of all of your artisans and scientists as they may be captured to create siege weapons for the Mongols and then they will break into your wall.
   
3. When the Mongols eventually do come into your land submit as quickly and as courteously as possible to prevent any further damage to your provinces.
   
4. Wait until the Mongols get lazy and decide to settle down in your city, then spread discontent amongst the serfs and peasants.
   
5. Wait some more.
   
6. Wait EVEN more, remember patience is key.
   
7. Hurray! The Mongols were defeated by an army of former slaves!
   

Tips

• Try to be sold as a slave by the Mongols to a city in the Middle East, then rise in power and become the leader of that city and command an army of former slaves into battle against the Mongols.
  
• Mongols like to feign retreat and lead their foes into traps.
  
• Try to avoid listening to rumors about the Mongol horde, they are most often spread by spies trying to freak you out.
  
• Mongols are scary, but remember, they aren't immortal. A few stabs with a sword and the trick should be done.
  

Warnings

• Mongols are excellent on horseback.
  
• Beware: Mongols will come at the most inopportune of times, usually when your nation is in a state of decline.
  
• Mongols have an excellent military.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Defeat the Mongol Horde. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

WACKOW at 11:27 PM

So I'm sitting here with three tabs open.

Facebook: talking through comments on my previous status about an upcoming church social event thing.


Blogger: Doing this, duuurrurrurhrrh

and

SongMeanings.net: Looking up the exact lyrics to "Fly on a Windshield" by Genesis so that I might take the last line and make it as my status on facebook.

And I'm looking at SongMeanings.net and I'm seeing this advertisement that is very strange. It is a .gif, that is, it is animated. And it shows the silhouette of a girl dancing, zooming in and out and in and out on her. She appears to be an amputee and there is this light shining out of her amputeed arm with sparkles floating everywhere else. The caption beside it reads: I want to earn my degree in less than 24 months! With 24 months being larger than the rest of the text and in the color red instead of blue.

And you ask yourself, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!?

And I tell you, well, it pretty much sums up my feeling of the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show...

First off, there was an inordinate amount of people there that had leg injuries. Every other mob or so of people had at least one guy in a wheelchair or walking with a support cane. This sickened me. Why, I do not know. But the fact remains, it did.

Second, everyone and their dog was wearing some form of hat. I even saw a man in a tophat. Now, I do realize that a lot of people wear hats and that its normal to see a lot of people wearing hats but I'm just saying that headware seemed to be one of the prevalant themes of the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show.

3. Food costs a lot

d. God damn there were a lot of leg cripples! I MEAN COME ON! They were everywhere! I couldn't turn my head without one of those sub-humans dirtying up my view with their ugly! Jesus Christ almighty, MAY HE BE PRAISED! Someone needs to get rid of 'em...

Furthermore, there are a lot of ugly and scary people at the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show. I mean scary as in Gummo* scary. Scary as in Donkey Boy** scary. FUCKIN' MESSES WITH YOUR MIND MAAAN!

In conclusion, I don't think I would want to ever go again because I'm probably gonna have nightmares

VII: There weren't enough modern weapons there. All they had were dueling pistols, injun jewery, furs, and stupid old rifles. Also, everyone screamed at me whenever I picked up the showcase weapons and pointed them at people making firing noises. Also ALSO, people apparently don't like it when you touch their antiques and try to dissassemble their WWI pistols. Assholes.

Clause 8, Subsection C, I got a basic lockpicking set there and I'm gonna break into everyone's house now...

OMEGA - Tasers are loud and scary.

THE END

*A movie that makes me and the Boatsmen cringe, scary children are scary.

**Another movie that makes at least me cringe but only a bit on this one part that the boatsmen showed me

***HEY THERE WEREN'T A WORD THAT HARD THREE ACTIRSISKSS!

****I don't care. Anyways I need to see those movies that I just mentioned and you should see them too so you can become filmlerned like I am beocomint D:PDP EEE!

We have been banned at at least 3 schools.  Our website that is.  I checked!

1. I feel even more awesome
   
2. I also have a bit of a concussion
3. fenghar gave me the concussion

When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I turned forty, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. And then I made it to sixty, and I realized no one was ever thinking of me. -bob hope