Yaaay, New Xbox!

Well, not really. We're going to turn in my old 360 for a new'n on account of the fact that the disc tray is a little brat and doesn't open all the time. However, because of my mom's strange spending habits, I might just be getting an Elite, but that's doubtful. If I were actually worth being part of the blogging community I'd take some nice little pictures for you, and upload them, showing my old Xbox compared to my new'n. Unfortunately, I'm poor. And a loser. So the only camera I own is a cute, pink, little plastic disney princess camera that I got half-off at Wal-mart...

Also, once I get my new Xbox, I'm going to steal Zaphod's idea and do a blog detailing the adventures of my character in Elderscrolls III: Morrowind. Booh Yah!

And OMG I'm gonna have to spend another fracking 5 hours of my life trying to get that piece-o-crap zombie genocider achievement on Dead Rising. But daddy sure does love his mega buster. Oh yes he does.

Raptor attacks

I'm getting fed up with all this raptor shit. Seriously guys, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all. Whats up with babies? And trees. I mean they grow vertical but have been known to grow sideways if the occasion arises. How does Voldemort breathe with that nose. I mean seriously, there has to be some kind of law against procuring shafts of metallic light so the gremlins don't crawl up under your covers and bite your toes. That would be almost as good as Jesus surfing on his light board, using the lance of longenensiss to explode the EVAs as the defeat angel 14. Mucho Gusto. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. CORRUPTION 32 PERCENT. BREAK OF NERV CENTERS. TOTAL FAILURE OF ALL OLFACTORY SENSORS. IRRELEVANT IRRELEVANT IRRELEVANT. LAUNCH EVA UNIT UNO. Por que? Donde es ta? AH! El gato in mi pantalones ist en fuego. MUY CALIENTE. Enough of this tomfoolery. Time to get down to business. Do you want to know what really happens when a man wants a woman and a woman wants a man and a woman and a man and a man all at the same time. THE SECOND FUCKING IMPACT THATS WHAT HAPPENS. You can't have terrene atoms and counterterrene atoms mixing with each other or stuff explodes. Chronos lives his life backwards which means he has to make himself go backwards to speak with normal people that live their lives forwards. But what if he was speaking to himself. Would he understand himself backwards to his forwards self or would the space time continueum Continuem Continuememum ESPLODE!? I haven't slept in 5348d0934 Hours. And 32 33 34 45 seconds. How much wood can a Master chief plasmaed at? I don't think so. Not until you finish your supper mister! But mom! I haven't re-routed the sub-ternal combustion hydrogenie to the extraterras mainframe of the Magi. CORRUPTION IS IMMMININET! Gendo, you must send out unit 1. NEVER, FOR I AM A DICKHOLE WITH A REALLY SWEET VOICE AND I DON'T TRY TO SAVE ANYONE BUT REI CUZ I"M A TOTAL PEDO LOL! What happens when corruption is complete. Do you become an angel? Or do you explode into confetti existing in such a way as to disrupt my bowels and make my bo-bo rumble in a not so pleasant way. Sprite tastes good liquid gold down my throat his love shaft throbbing deap into her honey nest makes for good time family fun for all. BOOM goes the dynamite and another shaka laka for the fellow in the red buquet. Frenchie frenchie frenchie frenchie frenchie. Have you ever levitated so hard that you can't feel your arms and yor mom is lie what are you doing? and you ar like nothing. And she is like areyou mastureabeatin and you are like no bitch stop steepping on my terriotry adn she coes in and you ahven no pants on and its all like
DISASTRUBATION!
Holy shiza this keyboard is horrible and deostn tnot rwork very well becauses its ckranmped and the letters feeels retareded to type but you can generally get the message that im' trying to convey buceause its not a messaged it s realy life GOdam nit i Hat the is kieyboardr.
God, i'm like a druncking uncfle sticking his finger where idt doesn't belong. int that place which is most sacred to all women and dchildren. Their pikachu. Squirtle squirlte. YEAAHH!! GO SQUIRTLE! UI have discovered new radioeactive isotrope but it is more voloatile than regular isotrope and has quaterlife instead of halfilfe so we must observe with hasty. And then. John was a zombie. Did you know that the kid who does that is actually a kid? Nooblet. Only noob kids right stupeid blags. about halflifes and doobms. Of course i'm a n adul't s so id ont' ahve to worry abogut writing my blags. Holy geezuz my drunken stuper is taking over. I no longer have th amount of willpower to resist the sleep depreaivation side-effects of reduced visabiltiy, naseua hardtbeurn dihaarrreah and stupidity.we the people of the united states of america in order to form a mor e prefect trusiotn eceided to freate the frree masons ar crazy coult of stanatists who want to take over the universer for benjamin frankiilihjng so he can harness his energey demons whichi s actually what he was doing with that stupid keay nath that stupid kite wash arnisessing energy tdemanos that he was tgonna bering to roosevelt who what ss his broghter at the time and he was like brothger hi have broguht you te h enregy demmans. now wes hatll afverntge mothers death by us be caues we wding't faollw the rules of alchemy and now she is a haomnnounculis nad mwe must fingd the philosphers stone to ssave her and ourselfves so we arnetg full -0metal but you must help me weith by hepleing me with the energy demans. and johna dmans is like hey that is raliell y good ide3a i get my brotgher samueal and we bameke beear but really we hepl with demans bear is just cover story for our rture intineions. and so samueal benjamain ajon and roosefvel t set out ona adventeru to be come o0pkemong masters and gcatch ime all. But they faild because misty was liek kgive me bmoneis for this bike or i get m yb frined brock hos is squicnty guty that matses teh bpokemonsz but is kinsda wiered because hwo does you mate pokemans? and jongh and benjamnain oare like wou ld you liked to sing this paper for our independance of the united nations from tteh indeian scheif who rules the creek nation coasingo in downtoanw tulsas? "Perhaps, if you offered inough gold for my coffersJ", says misty who was brusyhihgn her goledne blonde hari n th moonligts. and the johns and benjamin and samueal and roosevelt are like whoas we disdn'ts know yhou was a ghirl so wweis sorry for making fun of your face like that and she is like bitches doent knowabout myu priedleand and muffasssa raises his child in the air and looks him in the faice and says one day child. You shall be the true burger king and assume my throne as ronald the king mcdonald. but cymbah is liek "Nuh-uh, I'm gonna go kill the demans!". But mufassa doesn't understand and so he starts to cry a little but then gets angr4y and takes off his shirt and says mean things to cymbah but scyman is just a kid and doesn't undersatand and so mufassa hits him and cymabah understands because violcence is all he knows and so he is like "i'm gonna roun away" and mufoassa is like "not if I run away first!" and the y both run away to the edge of the water and teh ys wim out and are like "Hey lets go skinnydipping" but hther are shark demans in the watter and the come out of the watter very slowly and chompses their legs off and the shireiff is very angery but doesn't understand that its the works of demans. But Gendo Ikari does so he lanches eva unit one and is like "Son, you must kill the dmeans!" and shinkji is like "No, I am the demans!" adn Gendo is liek "Alright, uyse the dummy plug irrelevant irrelevant irrelevant!". And they suses the dummy bplu g and it is good for a while till it gets broked and gordan frreechman must ficx it. And a hadcrab cuzoms out and attakcs him and he is like "....." and the headcrab is like "Ah, I see we meet again Mr. Freeman, perhaps I can interest you in some chardonnay? How about some vintage cognac? Wine coolers? Anything? Are you thirsty at all?"
"....."
"Are you going to answer me or just give me blanks stares"
"...."
And gorndan gets his crowbarbv and hits teh headcrab on the face but teh headcrapb does not havea face and transports himoutside of body so he becomes zombie ghost and haunts the headcrap to death until it is diead and goes back to his body and is like
"....."
Then gordan goses and fietsgs some linaosn in the city 17 and the scientist guy on tyv is like "I'm gonna get your freanman" and the citizens are like "hurry freeeman thru heare" but the metro police are after heims and beat up on the pepolls and looks at frrecman and get very agnry and werbl3e twweep at hims but gordon doesn't saytingh so that makes them madder. I think I may have stayed up to long but now I'm to the point to where I'm not tired anymore but I can't focus on anythihgn and it is way toomuch efforet to actually do stuuf like backspaceing or not talking int stream of conciousonoess and my speeling is horrid but id on't kare because this keyboard is retarded and its mimposblib toiteol kdjs opisdj gji impossible to tyhepr very wiell cuz the mbuttons trip up my fingers. I haope iyou enjoyed this non sequitor because theree will porllyb e more in the futrure when i'm in states of mass hysteria like this and can't think straight and feel ilkng tiyhpen like a redtard. argk

Ha Ha Now That's Funny!

A small Explanation for you, upon the fortnight...
I haven't done the story yet because of school stuff. I'll probably have it posted tomorrow or something. Anyways, here are some hilarious jokes that make me Roll-On-The-Floor-Laughing-My-Ass-Off!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Aids.
......
Wha- What?
You have Aids...
I-
You're going to die.
A Doctor, A Nurse, and the Chief of Surgery walk into the room.
The Doctor tells his patient that he has aids and that he is going to die.
The Nurse tells him that it is going to be painless and that she'll help him through the hard times.
The Chief of Surgery says that he has cancer as well.
The Patient says "Cancer? I thought you said AIDS!
The Chief of Surgery says, "You have both, and you only have 2 weeks to live."
"Oh," says the patient.
Knock Knock
"Who's There?"
"Death"
"Death who?"
"The incarnation of Death, I'm here to take you to the other side."
"But the doctor said I have two weeks!?"
"I assumed that the deterioration wouldn't be so quick," said the doctor.
"You know what assuming does?" Said Death Incarnate,"It makes an ASS outta U and ME...

Wasn't that the most hilarious joke you have ever heard? Here are some more jokes that make me laugh-out-loud!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he died.

Why did the chicken cross the road
Because he wanted to die.

A Son, A Wife, and Chris Benoit walk into a bar...