STUFF (continued) at 9:36 PM

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Even though I may have said more on everything tomorrow what I meant was more on everything in a couple of weeks.

I'm sorry about that; I know I'm a whore, but suck it the fuck up and listen to what I have to say right now.

I was in a movie. It was mildly awesome. I clapped for a man in a medieval hobbit-ish outfit. I saw a big pretty camera. I got an erection.

I was in the same movie again, at a later time; different scene. It was a bit more awesome because I got to skate. I had my own scene. Scene 25. It was cool. I got an erection.

The movies name is "The Rock and Roll Dreams of Christopher Duncan". Or something like that.

I saw a movie. It was most definitely awesome. It goes by the name of Gummo. Now Bardiel will tell you its a bad movie and that it has no plot. Let me assure you, it is a bad movie. There is a very high chance you will not like this movie for several reasons.
Let me list some for you:

1. Its kinda scary in a "Let me get those shoes" kind of way. You'll get the joke once you watch it, which you will, because I know you can not contain that voracious curiosity melting your insides right now.
2. It does have a plot, but it is not an actual plot. Basically it starts with a cat and ends with a cat, but all the shit that happens in between, that ties in the beginning and the end is as loose as your mothers vageena. Good luck trying to follow it.
3. If you did not live in the shit south, or have any kind of connection to the shit south you will not like or understand this movie. Probably.
4. GOD DAMN THESE PEOPLE IS UGLY.
5. You might get the diabetes and die.

Really, it is a good movie. Harmony Korine(the director) did EXACTLY what he set out to do and broke some major fucking barriers in doing so. This movie is mindbending. If you don't get it or like it, join the club. Most people don't and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Its very "esoteric" if you will, but not in a cool high-culture kind of way. More in a "you are a creep, get away from me" kind of way. Really, just watch the movie so you can say that you have watched it and look like you know shit about shit when really you don't, like me. If you do like it pop me an email or a comment so we can lol about it and pretend its a really funny movie so maybe we don't have nightmares.

Next on the list....

Uhhhh

OH, I finished up filming for Blue Sunday. It was just a few outdoorsey shots and Adam actually did most of the dp-ing 'cause I suxors. Hopefully we can get that bitch edited so we can start work on "Mouth Action", the alias for our newest project that I have HIIIGH hopes for, or something else. Most likely something else*.

I helped edit Adam's murder/mystery movie thingie that he made and it was lol-tastic.

I think that covered it, Michael. Now, why don't you go shut the fuck up.

*We want, I believe, to let "Mouth Action" stew a bit in some of its own creative juices before we start in earnest on the writing. Meanwhile we'll begin on other, much lighter projects. I know I'm repeating myself, but I have high hopes for mouth action. I get this warm, sad, heavy, happy feeling in my chest whenever I think about it.

STUFF at 10:11 PM

I was in a feature length movie and I saw gummo and I finished up filming for Blue Sunday and I helped edit a movie and I had an awesome time. Now I am tired and my back hurts and I need some sleep goodnight more on EVERYTHING tomorrow.

Oh sweet god why is that man moving his face so fast at 10:56 PM

I sit here, in the brightly lit study of my house.  The rest of my family is asleep, and has been for at least an hour. The house is nearly frozen, and nothing more would please me than to jump in my warm bed. The quiet hum of the laundry machine nearly lulls me to sleep.  Then I realize, there is no way I will ever be sleeping again. Ever.  I say this because I have just completed a late viewing of the most disturbing and impacting film I have ever seen.  Ever. 

Now what is this movie you are talking about, Zaphod?  Is it the exorcist? that movie was pretty scary, right??!!  

No, it wasn't.  I honestly have never been truly scared by a movie besides The Shining.  I think I'm forgetting some movie, but who gives a shit. 

The Movie I am talking about is the 1990 film Jacob's Ladder.  Now before you go "Oh I know how to use the internetz, LOLZZDF, let me go youtube up a trailer!!1!1112One11Eleven"  Just fucking wait.  Don't watch a trailer, don't see a fucking summary, don't listen to a goddamn podcast about it.  Dont read a review, don't watch your tv, don't do anything.  Just leave, and watch it.  In fact, I'll fucking upload it for you to watch.  That way, you never have to leave your chair, fatty.  Ok, so to entice you to see it, since I know you won't watch it with just a demanding WATCH IT, i'll write a very quick, 100% spoiler free summary.  

A war veteran is hallucinating horrific things.  There, nuff said.  Well maybe not.  I watched this because I read somewhere that it influenced the silent hill video game series.  Meaning, I must see it.  

Honestly, I can't get enough of this film.  I need to go buy it on dvd and watch every deleted scene and listen to every commentary track.  

So just wait a while, and the movie will be uploaded onto megaupload for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EA05TJ2F

thats the link!

Zombies, and How I Want Them... at 7:36 PM

I'm jonesing for a zombie flick and/or game. Seriously, last night I even had a dream I was playing/living Left4Dead. I can't take this sexual fru- err, zombie anxiety much longer. Seriously. Someone, somewhere needs to make a halfway decent zombie flick and/or game. I'M DYING HERE. Or, someone could, I don't know, unleash a zombie virus on the world and effectively create a holocaust that would eleminate 97% of the world's population, completely relieving most, if not all, political, social, climate, and economic pressures and allowing for a new World government headed by the most badass of badass zombie hunters. That would make me just as happy. Fuck, I want to kill or watch people get killed/kill some zombies.

Please Disregard this post and scroll down to something more relevant and interesting like Zaphod's Dream analysis or my Zombie Haiku.