Thursday Night Poetry Slam at 9:49 AM

Has been postponed until next Thursday. Which basically means I'm just skipping this one.

I am sick. I am in no mood to write poems.

However dot dot dot

I will tell you that I plan to start hosting a

LIVE RADIO SHOW

Every Thursday Poetry Slam Night. I'll still post 'em up here, but you can listen to how we say our poems and stuff.

And how we cry our manly manly tears.

Peace.

Coimuc at 10:18 PM

The comic, if you haven't already noticed, is gonna be late. I'm pushing it back to Sunday- I had a very physically and emotionally stressful day today and all the funny drained from my bones. I'm sorry, but I'm not prepared to make it Bowie-centric either. I realize I don't really want to do that one until I have the right tools(like a tablet). However, Sunday I'll be pretty much clear from all work so I'll try to draw up a nice buffer zone to ensure that I don't have to be late on comics so much.

In other news, we've casted a few pods so those will be up soon- probably tomorrow. And, free time permitting, will start podcasting regularly. Its something Astrozombie and I can do that isn't very stressful and it also allows him to remain active with the site despite his very busy woman-filled schedule.

And by woman-filled I mean he's a woman and he's filling his time with womanly things.

Anyways, I also plan on Thursday being poetry and story night so expect some slammin' rhymes, yo.

As you can see, we are trying to amp up the content level to over nine-thousand.

And there is a secret surprise that will show up sometime soon. Let me tell you this, its gonna take a shitload of work to get it off the ground, so don't expect this secret to be revealed too soon as I don't want to be the preemptive asshole that I've been in the past with this site. Two weeks from now I plan on having pictures- so drop by then if you don't really want to be a regular; I'll really need some audience support on this.

So that's whats been happenin with the site recently. Drop by tomorrow for some more bi-minutely content.

Peace,
Fenghar The Nord

I'm Just A Little Birdy Too! at 4:49 PM

So I'm "tweeting" on the "twitter" now, "yo". Whatever that means.

I'm mainly doing it so I can stop flooding facebook with status updates, but I'm also doing it so you guys(whoever you are) can watch me slowly slip into a drug and alcohol fueled depression through the ease and convenience of mobile phone updates.

Until I become super internet famous and have to start being an asshole to all my fans because I need to keep my image I'll reply to everyone I can. Except for the times when replies aren't really necessary. But I'll probably reply then, too, because I hunger for any kind of human contact.

HA HA HA HA HA- JUST KIDDING GUISE I'M NOT CRAZY HAHHAHHEHEheheheoHoHo

Check out the sidebar to your right, please. Think of it as a charity to someone who is in need of validation of their existence.

Well, I officially suck. at 4:04 PM

I'm a total piece of crap who is going to ditch putting up a comic for you guys because I got a second chance on submitting an essay that was due today for a contest because my teacher liked the first draft so much.

This is doubly terrible because it should've been no problem for me to up a comic if I had drawn it already.

Hopefully it will be up on Tuesday, or even later today.

Wish me luck! The prize is 1000$ in cold, hard cash all of which will go towards my film career. That reminds me- I'm planning on the art design, character design, storyline design, co-voicing, and co-writing a little short show for you guys.

It will probably involve puppets and insanity.

Of course, I promise these kinds of things a lot so don't expect anything. I want it to be a surprise anyways.

Hiatus at 11:40 PM

No comics next Saturday or next week. I'mma gonna bees in Texas for Spring Break.

There will also probably be no new posts, unless AstroZombie has an explosion of inspiration or wants to show you guys some sweet uploads- which he probably will because he'll be on vacation as well and that's usually when he posts the most.

If I'm able to plug in somewhere I'll probably drop a few pics for you guys. Expect comics in full force the week after next, as I draw a LOT when I'm on vacation.

Until then have an awesome week, guys.

Seacrest- OUT.

We Got Plugged! at 5:50 PM

We were just plugged by a webcomic so, since it is only courteous to do so, we's gonna plug right back! HEEYAH!

Drop on by BFFSatan for some DEVILISH humour. Damn I'm clever.

Anyways, I'm changing the comic update schedule to three times a week- Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday.

Prepare for some awesome tomorrow!

Guess who's back. at 9:27 PM

Back Again.

I'm back from Texas and I have tons of glorious pictures to upload. Unfortunately I forgot to print out or even remember the cannibal story, but I did draw a LOT.

So be prepared for the sexy to hit your computation device in a matter of...a day.

Right now, I'm gonna check mah sites and then I'm gonna hit the sack.

Seacrest- OUT

Hey Hey Hey, Post-A-Day! at 10:05 PM

So I figure I should start posting once every day for practice, at least until I can set up a reasonable schedule for content release. I think Monday is a good day for comics, and every other Saturday is a good day for podcasts. Once a month is good for special content like videos or such.

Aside from that I think everything else will be irregular but frequent.

Really, though its all up in the air at this moment as to what direction we will take this site in. Hopefully I can start scraping off the leftover creativity that's been stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

I know lately it seems like all we've been doing is apologizing for a lack of updates.

I'm not one to break habits so- I'm sorry for not updating with awesome hilarious content every day.

Expect a nice update by the end of this week, I really plan on following through with that children's story about cannibalism.

P.S. I might make an IRC channel for this site where I can hang out and be all lonely because I don't actually have any fans that would go to it, I might also make a forum in which I will do the same thing.

El Texico at 9:57 PM

I'm going to Texas friday and I'll be sure to take some pretty pictures of things and stuff because I really like Texas. Especially Dallas, which is where I will be. I'll also draw a whole bunch since I won't have anything else to do and possibly I might start building a reserve of comics so I can get that process going.

I might even do something interesting while I'm there so stay tuned for upcoming news and excitement.

Actually, knowing me, I won't do anything while I'm there and I'll just fail you all and this site will die and I won't become a director and I'll just pick up a crack habit and live off my parents for the rest of my life so I can feed my sickening condition but soon they will forsake me so I'll just have to sell my body to upkeep my horrible dysfunction and one day I'll sell my body to the wrong person and they will take me to their house and chop me up and put me in their freezer so later they can eat me or grind me up into their food that they sell on the street. Street meat they call it. They'll sell me as street meat that people will eat and they will think its delicious but actually its pernicious. And they will peddle my feet and buyers they'll greet with snuffed out smiles and a merchant's guile. I'll be taken away piece by piece maybe for a niece's birthday feast and there they will taste this street meat and I will be famous because I'm in everyone's bellies.


I'm going to draw a comic/children's book about this and all of it will rhyme and it will be amazing.

Actually I won't.

But maybe I will.

Gotta keep you readers* guessing.

*no one HAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHAHOHOHOHAOHOohgodhelpmeHAHAHAHOHOHOHHEEHEHEHEHOHOHO

Hey, We Aren't Dead. at 7:26 PM

Seriously.

Like right now, I'm totally making full use of my lungs and heart and even some parts of my brain and stuff.

I just want you guys to know that I plan on posting and stuff I just need to get my head straight and my life on track. Lots of totally not awesome things going on with both me and Astrozombie(zaphodicles). I realize that we look tough and gritty and sexy and manly and totally hot and not fat on the outside but on the inside we are made of organs and blood and soft things and poop like babies. Sometimes our feelings get hurt. And sometimes the world is harder than our erections.

Sometimes.

But hey, its great material for art comics and movies. Totally.

Anyways, here is some content for you guys to consume. I stumbled upon my now favorite artist in the world. The page might take a while to load for you sub-humans out there because your internets is inferior but its well worth the wait.

This guy is up there with Salvador Dali in my awesome art list(its actually a kinda short list because of my bein all uncultured and whatnot).

Check him out and his creepy drawings that I sorta draw like

we have our own tv thingy at 6:17 PM

check out the sidebar.

This is an Update at 9:26 PM

This is an Update that is telling you that we are going to Update.

I am currently stocking up on comics and will get that stuff up soon.

Also, Zaphod is working on a new layout... I think...

Also, I'll be writing some movie reviews soon too.

Also, this is a reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to Update

Also, I'm planning on doing some movie stuff soon

Also, I'm planning doing something special for new year's probably

Also, I actually wasn't planing on doing something for new year's I just thought of doing that right now in the present so it wasn't really planned but I'm totally gonna plan something and then tell you about how I'm planning something

Also, I'm planning on planning on doing something special for new year's

Also, this is a reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to Update reminder

Also, I might write some more of those "I haven't slept in 3 days" non sequiters

Also, I believe my computer has been infected with some ad-ware or virus of some sort but I think Kaspersky might've cleaned it up a bit but I'm not sure and this computer is really starting to piss me off that its not fixed fully, but I still am glad that I can use it

Also, this is a reminder of the reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to update reminder

Also, I'll probably post something special for Christmas, too.

This is an Update telling you that we are going to Update

STUFF (continued) at 9:36 PM

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Even though I may have said more on everything tomorrow what I meant was more on everything in a couple of weeks.

I'm sorry about that; I know I'm a whore, but suck it the fuck up and listen to what I have to say right now.

I was in a movie. It was mildly awesome. I clapped for a man in a medieval hobbit-ish outfit. I saw a big pretty camera. I got an erection.

I was in the same movie again, at a later time; different scene. It was a bit more awesome because I got to skate. I had my own scene. Scene 25. It was cool. I got an erection.

The movies name is "The Rock and Roll Dreams of Christopher Duncan". Or something like that.

I saw a movie. It was most definitely awesome. It goes by the name of Gummo. Now Bardiel will tell you its a bad movie and that it has no plot. Let me assure you, it is a bad movie. There is a very high chance you will not like this movie for several reasons.
Let me list some for you:

1. Its kinda scary in a "Let me get those shoes" kind of way. You'll get the joke once you watch it, which you will, because I know you can not contain that voracious curiosity melting your insides right now.
2. It does have a plot, but it is not an actual plot. Basically it starts with a cat and ends with a cat, but all the shit that happens in between, that ties in the beginning and the end is as loose as your mothers vageena. Good luck trying to follow it.
3. If you did not live in the shit south, or have any kind of connection to the shit south you will not like or understand this movie. Probably.
4. GOD DAMN THESE PEOPLE IS UGLY.
5. You might get the diabetes and die.

Really, it is a good movie. Harmony Korine(the director) did EXACTLY what he set out to do and broke some major fucking barriers in doing so. This movie is mindbending. If you don't get it or like it, join the club. Most people don't and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Its very "esoteric" if you will, but not in a cool high-culture kind of way. More in a "you are a creep, get away from me" kind of way. Really, just watch the movie so you can say that you have watched it and look like you know shit about shit when really you don't, like me. If you do like it pop me an email or a comment so we can lol about it and pretend its a really funny movie so maybe we don't have nightmares.

Next on the list....

Uhhhh

OH, I finished up filming for Blue Sunday. It was just a few outdoorsey shots and Adam actually did most of the dp-ing 'cause I suxors. Hopefully we can get that bitch edited so we can start work on "Mouth Action", the alias for our newest project that I have HIIIGH hopes for, or something else. Most likely something else*.

I helped edit Adam's murder/mystery movie thingie that he made and it was lol-tastic.

I think that covered it, Michael. Now, why don't you go shut the fuck up.

*We want, I believe, to let "Mouth Action" stew a bit in some of its own creative juices before we start in earnest on the writing. Meanwhile we'll begin on other, much lighter projects. I know I'm repeating myself, but I have high hopes for mouth action. I get this warm, sad, heavy, happy feeling in my chest whenever I think about it.

STUFF at 10:11 PM

I was in a feature length movie and I saw gummo and I finished up filming for Blue Sunday and I helped edit a movie and I had an awesome time. Now I am tired and my back hurts and I need some sleep goodnight more on EVERYTHING tomorrow.

HEY! at 11:53 AM

HEY YOU I"M SORRY FOR NEGLECTING YOU!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU BE!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU!

HEY YOU

HEY

I plan on writing some silly commentary on the Tulsa Gun and Arms show for you guys so expect a post later today or something.

Some NEWS:

As you may very well possibly maybe know, Zaphod, The Boatsmen, and I have been working on a movie and we will probably have all of the shooting finished by the end of this week. After that we will rape up some editing and maybe JUUUUUST maybe you guys can see it. That is if there are still some of you left...

;-;

In other some NEWS:

I'm working on learning some instruments and maybe I might compose a little song. Also I'm working on these two new movies that will be good and you guys can't wait to see them I know it.

I"M COUNTING OUT TIME
GOT THE WHOLE THING DOWN BY NUMBERS
OH THOSE NUMBERS!

:D at 8:31 PM

EXXXXCELLENT! We have just finished MOST of the shooting for a short film titled "Blue Sunday". Hopefully after we finish up and edit it will turn out good and I won't have to kill myself because I was the cameraman/director of photography. Zaphod was on the audio(he won't have to kill himself because the audio turned out amazing, he has wicked sexy boom operating skills...ladies). Our friend The Boatsman directed and wrote it. I think its a pretty sweet story and it will show through in my AWESOME shitty directing.

Also, we are planning on doing a nuther padscot feat. The Boatsman. We tried to do it tonight at his house but we had to return the shotgun mic and the handheld mic would not just shut its jew mouth. Whatev, we'll get it sometime during the week or next weekend.

Anyways, once this project gets finished Zaphod, The Boatsmen, and I will form a terrific trio and start cranking out a whole lot more so brace for win and awesome. In the meantime, you can pass the time with occasional masturbation. Masturbation releases calming endorphines into your system to help you unwind and relax after a long and stressful day. If you practice masturbation with your partner it can help with synchronization and increasing your ability to withstand prolonged sexual stimulation without orgasm. It can also cure cancer(maybe), cure baldness(probably not), and help you get all the ladies(Now thats just a straight up lie).

MASSSSSSSTURBATION *Guitar solo* NNNAANANANNANA TRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!

stop sign.

How to Configure Your HDTV for Proper Russian Translation and Communication at 2:04 PM

Hey, fall break is happening RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW. That's good news for you because that means we might do something crazy and video tape it and/or draw a comic about it and/or write about it and then post on here and you won't have to cry yourself to sleep everynight.

Anyways, my lunch is here so peace out bitches.

October... at 4:20 PM

Every time I look at July's post count I die a little bit on the inside.

Once we finally get this frackin' show started and posted there will be a lot more traffic and therefore a lot more reason to post. Its gonna be slow goins for a while though. Maybe I'll post my little picture story I'm doing on here or something. Where it goes, nobody knows. Post apocalyptic shit. Maybe it will turn out cool if I can stay on track with it.

B l a h.

I have an essay to do.

BYE.

Showtime! at 6:51 PM

So last Friday Zaphod and I started working on a new project. A show about 4 men stuck at the bottom ocean. Wait two men. And a beaver. And a cat.

Funny little anecdote, Zaphod improvised an amazing theme song... and then completely forgot it. So we've been wracking our brains trying to find out what exactly the words were. Its safe to say I've gone far past insanity.

N E WAYZ, its lookin' pretty sexy so far. I've been charged with exterior set design so I'll be working on that this week. I'll probably take a few progress pictures and document the making of the show and maybe I'll post it up if it turns out to be halfway decent.

Sorry for the lack of posts, buds, that is if'n you are still reading this. Whores. Sluts. Lecherous SWINE.

Here's the stats for the show:

Director: Zaphod Beeblebrox
Co-Director: FengharTheNord
Actors: Zaphod*, Fenghar, Cat**, Beaver***
Set Design: Fenghar
Writers: Zaphod, Fenghar
DP: Zaphod, Fenghar*
Gaffer: Stanly Cruster
Animal Wrangler: William Jenkinson
Music: Fenghar on the Harmonica, Zaphod on the lyrics, and Both on the Vocals
Producer: Slatfatf productions****
Stuntmen: Clevis Nagrom, Hideo Nakijima, Terrence Swillwater, Sven Taxit, Spork Mannington, Rodney Blackshoot, Tim Handcock
Fannypack Sprucer: Travis Hepling

*He might not want to act in it...
**Zaphod's puppet, Voiced by me or Zaphod (idk)
***My puppet, Voiced by me or Zaphod (again, idk)
****Name Subject to change

Also, we might sign some other people on as well...

P.S. Can't wait for House Tuesday...

Great Job! at 2:56 PM

Just posting to show that I'm alive and well. I'm thinking of baking up a nice little vlog real soon so expect to be fed a delicious and vomit un-inducing meal within the next 73.38 hours. It will be a nice clean match, south lawrence rules with a little hanky panky on the side. Don't count on seeing my face though. I have to hide my identity to protect myself and the ones I love.

Meanwhile...

In other news...

On the other side of the galaxy...

A man and his dog are going for a walk into a bar, the blonde bartender turns to the horse and says I'll give you three wishes. The horse dies the next day and at the funeral a preacher, a rabbi, and a muslim guy are arguing over golf rules when all of a sudden god comes out of the sky and everyone is all like "Jesus, I had no idea you wore pants"! During the apocalypse one cop turns to the other and is like "Telephone, I thought you said Megaphone!" Cue canned laughter and a shot of Jimmy Hoffa's face. A tsunami rolls into town and walks into the nearest saloon, kicking open the swinging doors with startling fury. Inside the dimly lit cave there is a horeshoe, a car salesman, and an oriental vase. Your exits are north, south, and east. If you choose to dig up the grave, turn to page 70. If you choose to go back the way you came turn to page 21. Ashes to ashes, funk to funky. I like cookies extra chunky. Seacrest...

OUT!