Merry Christmas at 11:01 AM

Yeah, merry christmas. What did you all get?

I got The Clap.

Some banners at 12:24 PM

I've worked on a few banner ideas, to welcome in the new year of slatfatfgoodness. Here are some, give me some feedback, or help me and create your own, post linkzorz to em.












ok.. I guess only one for now.

One Whole Year! at 8:43 PM

The Dali at 6:48 PM

I'm in Florida, as you know, and today I went to the Salvador Dali museum. Salvador Dali is the single most important artist in the 20th century surrealist painters movement. Anyways, this post isn't about him, so much as about his paintings.

He painted crazy crazy stuff, which is all open for interpretation, so lets go do that.

I'll post some pics, and then you guys tell me what they are about! FUN TIMES!

The first one I have is "The Enigma of William Tell" You guys remember william tell right? The dad that shot the apple off of his sons head? Well you guys suck. Shut up.

The Next is "Disappearing Bust of Voltaire" where there is a hidden face if you look closely!
or maybe you need to backup to see it...







The Next one is "geopoliticus Child watching the birth of a new man"

Good stuff, nothing like really really scary egg babies!




The next one is aptly named " The Grand Masturbator"

Boy I really understand this one. Especially the masturbator part.

The New Layout at 4:15 PM

This is the new layout, including a brand new search feature. So if you ever feel like "Hey, I really really want to read some funny article about... The Current situation in France!" You can search for it! And then figure out all of our blog posts are about the EXACT same thing, leave, spiral into dark depression, and then come back to us.

Because we'll be here to pick up the broken peices of your heart.
We'll always be here.

Besides that, I'm in Florida again, doing some writing and vacationing. Fenghar is still in the cold, and still has computer issues. He made some hilarious videos spoofing the horrible tutorial vids you see on youtube all the time. Hopefully he can get those up here.

So watch out for layout changes, they will be happening often. Also I haven't gotten the podcast to embed on here yet, but it will be.

This is an Update at 9:26 PM

This is an Update that is telling you that we are going to Update.

I am currently stocking up on comics and will get that stuff up soon.

Also, Zaphod is working on a new layout... I think...

Also, I'll be writing some movie reviews soon too.

Also, this is a reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to Update

Also, I'm planning on doing some movie stuff soon

Also, I'm planning doing something special for new year's probably

Also, I actually wasn't planing on doing something for new year's I just thought of doing that right now in the present so it wasn't really planned but I'm totally gonna plan something and then tell you about how I'm planning something

Also, I'm planning on planning on doing something special for new year's

Also, this is a reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to Update reminder

Also, I might write some more of those "I haven't slept in 3 days" non sequiters

Also, I believe my computer has been infected with some ad-ware or virus of some sort but I think Kaspersky might've cleaned it up a bit but I'm not sure and this computer is really starting to piss me off that its not fixed fully, but I still am glad that I can use it

Also, this is a reminder of the reminder that this is an Update telling you that we are going to update reminder

Also, I'll probably post something special for Christmas, too.

This is an Update telling you that we are going to Update

STUFF (continued) at 9:36 PM

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Even though I may have said more on everything tomorrow what I meant was more on everything in a couple of weeks.

I'm sorry about that; I know I'm a whore, but suck it the fuck up and listen to what I have to say right now.

I was in a movie. It was mildly awesome. I clapped for a man in a medieval hobbit-ish outfit. I saw a big pretty camera. I got an erection.

I was in the same movie again, at a later time; different scene. It was a bit more awesome because I got to skate. I had my own scene. Scene 25. It was cool. I got an erection.

The movies name is "The Rock and Roll Dreams of Christopher Duncan". Or something like that.

I saw a movie. It was most definitely awesome. It goes by the name of Gummo. Now Bardiel will tell you its a bad movie and that it has no plot. Let me assure you, it is a bad movie. There is a very high chance you will not like this movie for several reasons.
Let me list some for you:

1. Its kinda scary in a "Let me get those shoes" kind of way. You'll get the joke once you watch it, which you will, because I know you can not contain that voracious curiosity melting your insides right now.
2. It does have a plot, but it is not an actual plot. Basically it starts with a cat and ends with a cat, but all the shit that happens in between, that ties in the beginning and the end is as loose as your mothers vageena. Good luck trying to follow it.
3. If you did not live in the shit south, or have any kind of connection to the shit south you will not like or understand this movie. Probably.
4. GOD DAMN THESE PEOPLE IS UGLY.
5. You might get the diabetes and die.

Really, it is a good movie. Harmony Korine(the director) did EXACTLY what he set out to do and broke some major fucking barriers in doing so. This movie is mindbending. If you don't get it or like it, join the club. Most people don't and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Its very "esoteric" if you will, but not in a cool high-culture kind of way. More in a "you are a creep, get away from me" kind of way. Really, just watch the movie so you can say that you have watched it and look like you know shit about shit when really you don't, like me. If you do like it pop me an email or a comment so we can lol about it and pretend its a really funny movie so maybe we don't have nightmares.

Next on the list....

Uhhhh

OH, I finished up filming for Blue Sunday. It was just a few outdoorsey shots and Adam actually did most of the dp-ing 'cause I suxors. Hopefully we can get that bitch edited so we can start work on "Mouth Action", the alias for our newest project that I have HIIIGH hopes for, or something else. Most likely something else*.

I helped edit Adam's murder/mystery movie thingie that he made and it was lol-tastic.

I think that covered it, Michael. Now, why don't you go shut the fuck up.

*We want, I believe, to let "Mouth Action" stew a bit in some of its own creative juices before we start in earnest on the writing. Meanwhile we'll begin on other, much lighter projects. I know I'm repeating myself, but I have high hopes for mouth action. I get this warm, sad, heavy, happy feeling in my chest whenever I think about it.

STUFF at 10:11 PM

I was in a feature length movie and I saw gummo and I finished up filming for Blue Sunday and I helped edit a movie and I had an awesome time. Now I am tired and my back hurts and I need some sleep goodnight more on EVERYTHING tomorrow.

Linkzorz at 2:34 PM

so we went crazy and deleted all of our well thought out links to megaupload with our torrents and shows in them.  Sorry. 

So as a thanksgiving (or whatever you people celebrate) present, we give you a txt file with all the links I have on my account.  

Just email us at slatfatfmain@gmail.com and we will send you the text file.  Dont worry, text files can't have viruses.  It includes a bunch of stuff that you already know about.  It's not like this costs you anything, so be sure to thank us!

We also will have a christmas gift for all of you later.  Bye now!

oh and jacob's ladder is uploading onto megaupload, so i'll have the link in an hour

Oh sweet god why is that man moving his face so fast at 10:56 PM

I sit here, in the brightly lit study of my house.  The rest of my family is asleep, and has been for at least an hour. The house is nearly frozen, and nothing more would please me than to jump in my warm bed. The quiet hum of the laundry machine nearly lulls me to sleep.  Then I realize, there is no way I will ever be sleeping again. Ever.  I say this because I have just completed a late viewing of the most disturbing and impacting film I have ever seen.  Ever. 

Now what is this movie you are talking about, Zaphod?  Is it the exorcist? that movie was pretty scary, right??!!  

No, it wasn't.  I honestly have never been truly scared by a movie besides The Shining.  I think I'm forgetting some movie, but who gives a shit. 

The Movie I am talking about is the 1990 film Jacob's Ladder.  Now before you go "Oh I know how to use the internetz, LOLZZDF, let me go youtube up a trailer!!1!1112One11Eleven"  Just fucking wait.  Don't watch a trailer, don't see a fucking summary, don't listen to a goddamn podcast about it.  Dont read a review, don't watch your tv, don't do anything.  Just leave, and watch it.  In fact, I'll fucking upload it for you to watch.  That way, you never have to leave your chair, fatty.  Ok, so to entice you to see it, since I know you won't watch it with just a demanding WATCH IT, i'll write a very quick, 100% spoiler free summary.  

A war veteran is hallucinating horrific things.  There, nuff said.  Well maybe not.  I watched this because I read somewhere that it influenced the silent hill video game series.  Meaning, I must see it.  

Honestly, I can't get enough of this film.  I need to go buy it on dvd and watch every deleted scene and listen to every commentary track.  

So just wait a while, and the movie will be uploaded onto megaupload for your viewing pleasure.

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=EA05TJ2F

thats the link!

Defeat the Mongol Horde - wikiHow at 8:38 PM

Defeat the Mongol Horde - wikiHow

How to Defeat the Mongol Horde

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Defeating the Mongol Horde is not as easy as one might think, but with this easy how-to you are a-shooin to win.

Steps

1. First Build some walls to prevent or slow down the Mongols from entering your territory.
   
2. The Mongols are tricky fellows, be sure to make sure you have account of all of your artisans and scientists as they may be captured to create siege weapons for the Mongols and then they will break into your wall.
   
3. When the Mongols eventually do come into your land submit as quickly and as courteously as possible to prevent any further damage to your provinces.
   
4. Wait until the Mongols get lazy and decide to settle down in your city, then spread discontent amongst the serfs and peasants.
   
5. Wait some more.
   
6. Wait EVEN more, remember patience is key.
   
7. Hurray! The Mongols were defeated by an army of former slaves!
   

Tips

• Try to be sold as a slave by the Mongols to a city in the Middle East, then rise in power and become the leader of that city and command an army of former slaves into battle against the Mongols.
  
• Mongols like to feign retreat and lead their foes into traps.
  
• Try to avoid listening to rumors about the Mongol horde, they are most often spread by spies trying to freak you out.
  
• Mongols are scary, but remember, they aren't immortal. A few stabs with a sword and the trick should be done.
  

Warnings

• Mongols are excellent on horseback.
  
• Beware: Mongols will come at the most inopportune of times, usually when your nation is in a state of decline.
  
• Mongols have an excellent military.
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Defeat the Mongol Horde. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

WACKOW at 11:27 PM

So I'm sitting here with three tabs open.

Facebook: talking through comments on my previous status about an upcoming church social event thing.


Blogger: Doing this, duuurrurrurhrrh

and

SongMeanings.net: Looking up the exact lyrics to "Fly on a Windshield" by Genesis so that I might take the last line and make it as my status on facebook.

And I'm looking at SongMeanings.net and I'm seeing this advertisement that is very strange. It is a .gif, that is, it is animated. And it shows the silhouette of a girl dancing, zooming in and out and in and out on her. She appears to be an amputee and there is this light shining out of her amputeed arm with sparkles floating everywhere else. The caption beside it reads: I want to earn my degree in less than 24 months! With 24 months being larger than the rest of the text and in the color red instead of blue.

And you ask yourself, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?!?

And I tell you, well, it pretty much sums up my feeling of the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show...

First off, there was an inordinate amount of people there that had leg injuries. Every other mob or so of people had at least one guy in a wheelchair or walking with a support cane. This sickened me. Why, I do not know. But the fact remains, it did.

Second, everyone and their dog was wearing some form of hat. I even saw a man in a tophat. Now, I do realize that a lot of people wear hats and that its normal to see a lot of people wearing hats but I'm just saying that headware seemed to be one of the prevalant themes of the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show.

3. Food costs a lot

d. God damn there were a lot of leg cripples! I MEAN COME ON! They were everywhere! I couldn't turn my head without one of those sub-humans dirtying up my view with their ugly! Jesus Christ almighty, MAY HE BE PRAISED! Someone needs to get rid of 'em...

Furthermore, there are a lot of ugly and scary people at the Tulsa Gun and Arms Show. I mean scary as in Gummo* scary. Scary as in Donkey Boy** scary. FUCKIN' MESSES WITH YOUR MIND MAAAN!

In conclusion, I don't think I would want to ever go again because I'm probably gonna have nightmares

VII: There weren't enough modern weapons there. All they had were dueling pistols, injun jewery, furs, and stupid old rifles. Also, everyone screamed at me whenever I picked up the showcase weapons and pointed them at people making firing noises. Also ALSO, people apparently don't like it when you touch their antiques and try to dissassemble their WWI pistols. Assholes.

Clause 8, Subsection C, I got a basic lockpicking set there and I'm gonna break into everyone's house now...

OMEGA - Tasers are loud and scary.

THE END

*A movie that makes me and the Boatsmen cringe, scary children are scary.

**Another movie that makes at least me cringe but only a bit on this one part that the boatsmen showed me

***HEY THERE WEREN'T A WORD THAT HARD THREE ACTIRSISKSS!

****I don't care. Anyways I need to see those movies that I just mentioned and you should see them too so you can become filmlerned like I am beocomint D:PDP EEE!

HEY! at 11:53 AM

HEY YOU I"M SORRY FOR NEGLECTING YOU!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY FOR LEAVING YOU BE!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY FOR NOT POSTING!

HEY YOU I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU!

HEY YOU

HEY

I plan on writing some silly commentary on the Tulsa Gun and Arms show for you guys so expect a post later today or something.

Some NEWS:

As you may very well possibly maybe know, Zaphod, The Boatsmen, and I have been working on a movie and we will probably have all of the shooting finished by the end of this week. After that we will rape up some editing and maybe JUUUUUST maybe you guys can see it. That is if there are still some of you left...

;-;

In other some NEWS:

I'm working on learning some instruments and maybe I might compose a little song. Also I'm working on these two new movies that will be good and you guys can't wait to see them I know it.

I"M COUNTING OUT TIME
GOT THE WHOLE THING DOWN BY NUMBERS
OH THOSE NUMBERS!

VOTING TOMORROW at 10:44 PM

Go vote, whores.

We have been banned at at least 3 schools.  Our website that is.  I checked!

1. I feel even more awesome
   
2. I also have a bit of a concussion
3. fenghar gave me the concussion

woopsies at 8:47 PM

guess i didn't upload the actual podcast on gcast.   Well it will be up ina  minute, so just hang on

3 podcasts at 5:36 PM

We have 3 uploads for today. 2 are special features for SLATFATF, and one is an actual podcast. Be sure to check out all of them, and not just the official podcast.

Episode info:
We interview a young filmmaker.

:D at 8:31 PM

EXXXXCELLENT! We have just finished MOST of the shooting for a short film titled "Blue Sunday". Hopefully after we finish up and edit it will turn out good and I won't have to kill myself because I was the cameraman/director of photography. Zaphod was on the audio(he won't have to kill himself because the audio turned out amazing, he has wicked sexy boom operating skills...ladies). Our friend The Boatsman directed and wrote it. I think its a pretty sweet story and it will show through in my AWESOME shitty directing.

Also, we are planning on doing a nuther padscot feat. The Boatsman. We tried to do it tonight at his house but we had to return the shotgun mic and the handheld mic would not just shut its jew mouth. Whatev, we'll get it sometime during the week or next weekend.

Anyways, once this project gets finished Zaphod, The Boatsmen, and I will form a terrific trio and start cranking out a whole lot more so brace for win and awesome. In the meantime, you can pass the time with occasional masturbation. Masturbation releases calming endorphines into your system to help you unwind and relax after a long and stressful day. If you practice masturbation with your partner it can help with synchronization and increasing your ability to withstand prolonged sexual stimulation without orgasm. It can also cure cancer(maybe), cure baldness(probably not), and help you get all the ladies(Now thats just a straight up lie).

MASSSSSSSTURBATION *Guitar solo* NNNAANANANNANA TRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIN!

stop sign.

How to Configure Your HDTV for Proper Russian Translation and Communication at 2:04 PM

Hey, fall break is happening RIGHT FUCKIN' NOW. That's good news for you because that means we might do something crazy and video tape it and/or draw a comic about it and/or write about it and then post on here and you won't have to cry yourself to sleep everynight.

Anyways, my lunch is here so peace out bitches.

October... at 4:20 PM

Every time I look at July's post count I die a little bit on the inside.

Once we finally get this frackin' show started and posted there will be a lot more traffic and therefore a lot more reason to post. Its gonna be slow goins for a while though. Maybe I'll post my little picture story I'm doing on here or something. Where it goes, nobody knows. Post apocalyptic shit. Maybe it will turn out cool if I can stay on track with it.

B l a h.

I have an essay to do.

BYE.

God dammit at 7:33 AM

To see a rape being committed in your dream, denotes sexual dysfunction or uncertainty.

Fuck.

http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/r.htm

Showtime! at 6:51 PM

So last Friday Zaphod and I started working on a new project. A show about 4 men stuck at the bottom ocean. Wait two men. And a beaver. And a cat.

Funny little anecdote, Zaphod improvised an amazing theme song... and then completely forgot it. So we've been wracking our brains trying to find out what exactly the words were. Its safe to say I've gone far past insanity.

N E WAYZ, its lookin' pretty sexy so far. I've been charged with exterior set design so I'll be working on that this week. I'll probably take a few progress pictures and document the making of the show and maybe I'll post it up if it turns out to be halfway decent.

Sorry for the lack of posts, buds, that is if'n you are still reading this. Whores. Sluts. Lecherous SWINE.

Here's the stats for the show:

Director: Zaphod Beeblebrox
Co-Director: FengharTheNord
Actors: Zaphod*, Fenghar, Cat**, Beaver***
Set Design: Fenghar
Writers: Zaphod, Fenghar
DP: Zaphod, Fenghar*
Gaffer: Stanly Cruster
Animal Wrangler: William Jenkinson
Music: Fenghar on the Harmonica, Zaphod on the lyrics, and Both on the Vocals
Producer: Slatfatf productions****
Stuntmen: Clevis Nagrom, Hideo Nakijima, Terrence Swillwater, Sven Taxit, Spork Mannington, Rodney Blackshoot, Tim Handcock
Fannypack Sprucer: Travis Hepling

*He might not want to act in it...
**Zaphod's puppet, Voiced by me or Zaphod (idk)
***My puppet, Voiced by me or Zaphod (again, idk)
****Name Subject to change

Also, we might sign some other people on as well...

P.S. Can't wait for House Tuesday...

Also, this. at 11:13 PM

Also, this.

FARGE! at 10:57 PM

Argh, so Zaphod and I have been supersupersick lately and I haven't gotten around to doing a silly vlog yet so I'm sorry about that. I might do one tomorrow though. Maybe.



Check out his other stuff its loltastic, especially anything to do with tequila or mumbler/bartle-doo.




xoxo
~Mom

To protect the world from devastation! at 6:39 PM

To unite all people within our nation!

This is the 100th post. In it I will type 100 words starting...

NOW:

Actually, no. I was just kidding about that nonsense. I wish I could do something special for you guys like show you the silly story I made out of pictures. Unfortunately this is a cruddy laptop that doesn't have the silly pictures made for the story. :Sadface: Also, the story involves shooping some of the da whooping which is wholly inappropriate for virgin eyes such as yours.

HEY GUESS WHAT CHICKIN BUTT!

You know what is really super extra awesome fun?! Nothing. Now get the fuck out of my house you two-timing, lecherous WHORE!

Ack, this is a horrible 100th post. Hopefully the 101st will be a hilarious vlog featuring Zaphod and me but I doubt it on account of the fact that Zaphod will probably just show you to another sweet music video or talk about how much goddamn awesome games he just bought. Asshole.

Ps. I can't wait to watch house tomorrow, omgo omgo mgomg!qqq111

Pss. I'm tired of this tuberculosis! OMGOGMOGMGOds!1111

PSsSSsss!S. I'm actually very seriously considering this vlog thing and already have a outline of it all ups in mah noggins.

Also, I wanna do some comics real soon

Also Also, I just hit my funny bone AKA you lost the game.

Great Job! at 2:56 PM

Just posting to show that I'm alive and well. I'm thinking of baking up a nice little vlog real soon so expect to be fed a delicious and vomit un-inducing meal within the next 73.38 hours. It will be a nice clean match, south lawrence rules with a little hanky panky on the side. Don't count on seeing my face though. I have to hide my identity to protect myself and the ones I love.

Meanwhile...

In other news...

On the other side of the galaxy...

A man and his dog are going for a walk into a bar, the blonde bartender turns to the horse and says I'll give you three wishes. The horse dies the next day and at the funeral a preacher, a rabbi, and a muslim guy are arguing over golf rules when all of a sudden god comes out of the sky and everyone is all like "Jesus, I had no idea you wore pants"! During the apocalypse one cop turns to the other and is like "Telephone, I thought you said Megaphone!" Cue canned laughter and a shot of Jimmy Hoffa's face. A tsunami rolls into town and walks into the nearest saloon, kicking open the swinging doors with startling fury. Inside the dimly lit cave there is a horeshoe, a car salesman, and an oriental vase. Your exits are north, south, and east. If you choose to dig up the grave, turn to page 70. If you choose to go back the way you came turn to page 21. Ashes to ashes, funk to funky. I like cookies extra chunky. Seacrest...

OUT!

Podcasting fun at 8:09 PM

Well we casted last night, but it wasn't up until today. Wonder why? Well we could not remember how to stop recording. FUn fun fun.
Enjoy it hoes. We still aren't updating much. Maybe a film this weekend!

awesome. at 10:57 PM

You Dont Know Me (featuring Regina Spektor)



thanks fintron.


oh, and same directors, slightly older

working working working at 9:15 PM

Well, I'm bringing a dvd to show in class tomorrow at school that will possibly get me kicked out of school. Yay!
Fenghar's computer is still broken.
I'm still tired and wasted.
And All's right in the universe. Large Hadron collider turned on today/yesterday, according to NPR this morning. It made the loop and bam, blackhole.
New podcast tonight, maybe. Check back later.

Spore, id super pack, games games games at 3:12 PM

WOWZA!

I bought spore a few days ago, got the pre-download, and now I'm all ready to unlock it once it turns midnight tonight. Another big thing that happened today, STEAM has a sale on all iD software games. Id is the publisher that brought you classics such as Wolfenstein, Quake, Doom, Hexen, heretic, and so much more. I just bought all of the id software games in what steam calls a "superpack" for 35 bucks. Freakin awesome. Anywho, I just wondered if anyone was still playing quake and doom. If so, give me your steam id fool.

Using Microsoft Word 2007 to blog at 1:49 PM

Yeah, whatever. Just testing if this system works.

Ma gawd at 10:00 PM

Holy crap. We were posting every day. Now we don't. Uh oh.
Well good viewers, me and fenghar are working on many a project, including but not limited to:
Programming
Pornogramming
Artifacting
Acolading
Sacofading


etc.

In reality, we are really busy with the start of business season...aka school. But we have several things planned, including:
pornographics

and of course video uploads. I honestly have been RIDICULOUSLY busy right now. I'm programming/designing this website for these fools with too much time on their hands. Also, I have to help them work on bullshit like hooking up internet... and logging them on the server...
wow.

Amazing. at 7:20 PM

Now I play a little harmonica now and then but I mainly can only do chords on account of the fact that I suck at harmonica. This guy is amazing, I don't know how he doesn't hyperventilate. Check out him and other amazing artists under the same uploader. I think its some kind of record label that promotes specialized instrumentalists. Or something. Idk.

Friday! at 3:30 PM

So, Saturday I finally saw "The Dark Knight" and if you haven't seen it yet you should be taken out to the edge of town and stoned. I should be taken out to the edge of town and stoned for not seeing it earlier. Anyways, it was awesome and Heath Ledger was phenomenal and Aaron Eckhart (or whatever his name is) was phenomenal as well and blah blah blah, you've probably heard this all already. See it, it was good, and there will probably be quite a few awards tacked onto Heath Ledger's grave come award-time season place.

So, now it is Monday, three days since we posted up our first podcast and we're wondering, did you like it? I know its basically an hour full of nonsense, but I think there are few funny tidbits here and there. I'm really anxious to get a few comments about it that aren't from fintron or the other passengers of the mystery van. And by that I mean the people we know IRL. So, drop me an email or something, fools. I'm dying of curiosity! And also a mild kidney failure, but that's beside the point.

So, soon it will be Friday again and hopefully, with a little help from our viewers via some sexy suggestions/questions, we'll have another podcast up, but this time it will have to do with actual real life shit and not morrowind or how we are french teenagers playing sexual games in 1970's paris.("The Dreamers" Reference - its a movie)

Test-cast... pod..cast? at 11:52 PM

So we made a podcast, basically testing out sound quality, editing programs, export details, encoders, uploaders, etc. Has no subject, whatsoever. We talk about lost, half life 2, dragon ball z, emo phillips, and everything else you can imagine. But we are talking off topic, completely. Also, My laugh sounds loud... very loud. It's mainly because of what we are recording on, but I'm also just a loud person. You know. Listen or don't, its just me and fenghar talking.

Podcast News at 3:31 PM

So, as Zaphod and I try to work with our hectic and very sexy schedules to start the long and ardous process of making a 5 to 15 minute spodcat I decided to update you on teh infos of when that will probably be uploaded. Sometime around late friday night or saturday morning we will have our silky smooth baritone voices recorded using a semi-cruddy ps2 headset and edited by audacity. Or something. I don't know what exactly this spodcat is supposed to be about, but it will probably have to do with penises and/or vaginas. Probably not vaginas on account of our teenage naivete about the majestic female innerworkings. My knowledge of female sexy parts is purely limited to the H-Game "Water Closet".

Anyways, I hope the podcast will be good and that you guys like it and maybe you'll laugh a bit more than you do when you read the writings of this novice. Me and Zaphod can be pretty funny in teh IRLs with our reminiscing of shows no one knows about like "Big Bad Beetleborgs". We have ridiculous senses of humour and can take things most people find plain or boring and make them shit and giggle hilarities. But hey, there are some people out there that don't get us, or find us offensive. We can get a little racy sometimes. For instance, sometimes I say some pretty audacious things like "tallywacker", or "twinkietits". Just giving you a warning. So, check out mine and Zaphod's sexy voices sometime around fraturday.

Boogedy Boogedy at 10:45 PM

Long time no see, biotches. As you already know, I was in NY state fer 3 weeks and I didn't have access to a suitable computational module for my daily sexy input. I have a sorta ok one now. I still won't be posting much though, on account of the fact that I'm at my dad's for family crisis reasons(I'll talk to you about it on msn tomorrow, zaphod). Suffice to say I've been having a bit of a rough month. So, whatever. You guys can go have sex with your ho's or whatever it is that you young kids do today.

Working hard, not time! at 9:19 PM

we are working full speed, defcon 2, torpedoes armed, steady freddy, jack swift, john bottom, GO!

actually, I'm the only one working... Fenghar still isn't back from nyc..

which is strange since school starts in 2 days.

Check out the new logo!
Few more edits, and I'll be done with it.

Give us some feedback on it!

Contact info at 2:02 AM

.So we have some new contact info for you. (boring post is boring)
First, we created an email for the site:
slatfatfmain@gmail.com

you can use this to reach us and tell us what a good job we are doing, and all of our hours of posting, commenting, recoding, searching, are not going to waste. Also, tell us how bad the other writer of this website is, how he never posts anymore, how he is dumping the workload onto the sexy, smart, vuluptous other writer.
Yeah.
If you need to conact Zaphod specifically:
MSN: bardiel13th@hotmail.com
YAHOO messenger: bardielx13xangel
AIM: bardielx13xangel
Vuze: Bardiel
Xfire: Bardiel13th
email: bardiel13th@gmail.com

If you need to contact Fenghar specifically (he is going to have a shitfit when he finds out i put his info out here):
MSN: parodoxpenguin@hotmail.com
AIM: fengharthenord
VUZE: ohblueeyes20
xfire: fengharthenord
email: fengharthenord@gmail.com

This post will later be placed on our contact page... mebbe

oh, and our podcast has been created...
http://www.gcast.com/u/Slatfatf/main

I don't know if that link actually works, but we haven't "casted" yet. But you should subscribe anyways... because i love you

Film: La Cabina at 11:46 PM

Good evening, slatfat'ers... Today is a travel day for me, so don't expect anything today... even though its 1 am my time. I head on back home today from 6 weeks in beautiful Florida. I think 6 weeks might be a bit of a long vacation, but in my line of work, I need it.
Anyways last night (2 hours ago) I started upload the short film "La Cabina". This excellent film exceeded all my expectations and has actually had an impact on how I write film now. A thing I notice with almost all Spanish film is that (boring part for all of you non-filmers) the actors tend to speak softly, or not at all. Most of the film is conveyed through expressions on the face or body. and this film is no exception

So more info for the movie that you hopefully will download. It is a story about a man who finds a phone booth in the middle of a park, and steps inside. What follows next is the bulk of the story, and you had better prepare to be shocked. This is a horror film, but not gory in any sense. In fact, and I dread calling it this, but it could be a science fiction film. But I wouldn't go that far. Let's just say if you like interesting movies with unique, twilight zone plot twists, watch it.

Genre: Horror/art film

rating: 10/10

parental rating: NO GORE or SEX at ALL. This is 100% appropriate to watch around youngsters... although they may not understand all of it.

Subtitles: INCLUDED! because I rock. If your media player cannot handle subtitles, don't worry, there are literally 10 lines of dialogue in this movie, so subtitles are unessential.

Are you wondering why I am suddenly upping films? Well, several of you voted that you disliked the variety/lack of Downloads.... So here is something different!

I take no credit whatsoever for ripping this film. The original film is from a torrent website.

I hope to upload more films later. bold will not turn off for some reason, so rest of post is in bold! yay!

download link: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=A72JQANJ
password: phonebooth

Surveyness at 11:17 AM

So the construction time was short, admittedly. But that's not the issue here. The issue is you. Click the nifty sidebar link to survey monkey and fill out the survey!
DO IT NOW!

under construction.. again at 11:28 PM

we will be back after a message from our Benefactors.

Venture 310, Tim and Eric 301-302 at 2:08 PM

We got a crazy amount of uploads today, 3!!!
mindblowing.
So first we have Venture Bros 310:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=SZCUMQ02
password: timanderic

Then we have 2 episodes of tim and eric awesome show
301:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=QWVVO3GY
password: tinytigers

302:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=COTVV59B
password: jackie

Ok, Seriously at 3:46 PM

Good news: Slatfatf grows in views every day.
Now that's not all of the good news. We get a large percentage of views oversea. A large number from South Korea, Ireland, Canada, Russia, UK, Spain. These numbers are absolutely fantastic! But do people only come here for the tv show downloads we provide? Or is there more to it? Do you enjoy our banter? our saucy play on words?
We want to hear from YOU!
YES YOU!
As you read, I am creating a survey that NO ONE ELSE will see except for me and Fenghar. Just fill it out, click the send button, and it basically emails us with the data. None of the info is mandatory (you can lie about your name and location if you want). We just really want to know what you think!

Amazing Genesis covers at 2:34 AM

I was browsing the interwebs today, and I found a cool little youtube vid with one of my favorite Genesis songs, Harlequin. The image for the song had an AWESOME remake of the albumart for Nursery Cryme. So I found the rest of the guys stuff:
here is the original artwork for nursery cryme

and here is the new one:


I also found one for Foxtrot and Lamb lies down. Foxtrot's original is below

and the reworking:



And finally lamb lies down (which you won't understand the rework if you haven't heard or know of the lore of the album)


and the new one:














Check out his other artwork. His name is David Raphael
http://genesislive.ning.com/profile/DavidRaphael

Sorry at 12:38 AM

I'm real sorry about the lack of posts recently, since we usually update at least once a day. The main reason is that Fenghar The Nord, the other Author on this website, has been in New York on vacation. I don't know all the details, but he supposedly has to do some hard labor. I doubt he has computer access, so he's probably crying his eyes out in pain/lack of LCD exposure. I, on the other hand, am in beautiful St. Petersburg, Florida. It's pretty nice here, beaches, all that good stuff, but I've been here for 6 weeks, and it's time to go back home. Here are a few things I have been doing recently:

1. Learning PHP language code
2. watching the 3rd and 4th seasons of Battlestar Galactica
3. listening to several podcasts (I'm especially partial to the Galactica Quorum podcast)
4. buying the brakshow for 8 bucks, including shipping, on ebay
5. buying an nVidia 8400 card for 40 bucks (WIN!)
6. Beating half life 2 again
7. Playing every mod I possibly can for Half Life 2
8. playing Defcon (very fun indie game, recommend demo)
9. enjoying season 3 of venture bros
10. enjoying season 3 of tim and eric awesome show great job
11. watching ALL of the lord of the Rings extended cut films
12. not taking a shower every day
13. eating baklava
14. not shaving for 6 weeks (don't worry, I shaved yesterday)
15. not getting the score I wanted on the AP test (shit)
16. writing my 5th screenplay
17. falling in love
18. not reading
19. not uploading venture bros the day or next day of release
20. sitting on the beach

So there you have it. 20 things I have been doing.
Venture bros will be up in a while, maybe soon, maybe later. Just depends.
I'm tired, but my laundry isn't done.

Breaking study at 7:10 PM

Study Finds Young People Remain Apathetic About Office Politics


Stay tuned for Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! episode 301

Venture 309 at 6:57 PM

Zippadeedodah!
Here is your Venture Bros season 3 episode 9
Now Museum, Now you don't!
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JVJ9K9NT
password: brakshow

Officially up at 3:19 PM

yesh, we are up now!
there are still going to be some bugs with the template (this is basically a replacement while I create one entirely from scratch). Later today, within a few hours, I will have the high quality rip of Venture Bros 309 up. I will have a comic up today, mebbe. My brak show dvds came in, so that's what I will be doing for most of today...

Still under construction at 11:47 PM

We are still undergoing some last changes, but the new venture bros aired tonight, so did tim and eric on adult swim.com
So i made a web rip for you non americans
Venture:
password: slatfatfrocks
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=DEMYXGZQ

Tim and Eric:
password: slatfatfconstruction
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JVYQ4T7Y

arg sorry for the delay... i got sidetracked with hl2 deathmatch mod Zombie Panic
If you can't play these on your current media player, go get VLC Media Player.

UNDER CONSTRUCTION at 3:39 PM

watch out!
the layout is going to be a bit buggy while I change some of the coding for it...
But i'm sure you don't even read this site anyways!

When I was twenty, I worried what everything thought of me. When I turned forty, I didn’t care what anyone thought of me. And then I made it to sixty, and I realized no one was ever thinking of me. -bob hope

Haircut at 4:50 PM

I got one. I'm not sure if I like it yet, but I can be very picky with things like that. Whatever, its short and it doesn't make me sweat profuse amounts of sweat...stuff. I'd show you a picture if you guys weren't rapists. W/e. I go to New York tomorrow so that's cool. I guess this will be my last post for the next two weeks so see you then. Hopefully I'll have lots of pictures and video that I won't show you guys because you are rapists.

Probably haven't seen this yet at 12:07 AM

This is a very recent vid (RSS FEEDS FOR THE CHAMPION)

Chef Cooks 'Dream Omelet' From Recipe That Came To Him In A Dream

Alyson Hannigan is Pretty Hot... at 4:29 PM

FCC Okays Nudity On TV If Its Alyson Hannigan

New York! at 9:06 PM

Sometime around Friday morning I'll be in a car on the 3-4 hour drive to someplace in Kansas where I'll rally up with my cousin(I take point, he flank) and we get on some undetermined flight at some undetermined time and head off to somewhere around Wyoming County, New York where I'll begin a long and arduous 2 weeks of hard barnyard labor under the sharp and watchful eye of my grandpa. Why is all this happening, you say? Well, let me tell you a story that I just made up.

My mom is under the delusion that she is going to "break me". You see, it all started a 2 years ago. I was just a budding young flower of a girl, developing strange new "things" and "stuff" and leaking from places that I didn't even know I had. I was a young girl. A young girl in love. My mother didn't approve of my new "things" and "stuff". Often times I felt the sting of the lash on my tender back, till the red blood dripped freely insofar* raising welts as large as my index finger**. So I got a sex change. This made my mother quite a bit more furious so much so she exiled me from these lands, to forever wander the wastes in my endless search for the G.E.C.K.***

*For you, Cameron
**I'm reading The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass right now, if'n you can't tell by me borrowing his silly jargon...
***Obligatory Fallout reference

Vuze Search Templates at 11:50 PM

So i figured out (loosely) how to configure Vuze Search templates so it will search more popular sites. I made 3 so far, one for demonoid, one for pirate bay, and one for Isohunt. I spent some time making the demonoid one, but whatever. Here ya go:
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=CGEU5Y1H

Tutorial: how to blur backgrounds at 1:38 PM

This tutorial will show you how to blur backgrounds seamlessly for a great effect. So, to start off, I will be using GIMP, the best freeware photo editing program (actually, it technically has all of the features Photoshop has, but runs faster, and free). Also, I will be using the following pic, if you want to follow along with me or something...



First, click the free selection tool

Now, after opening up your image, draw a selection area over what you want to NOT be blurry.


If you are fairly new to GIMP, you can select more than one area at a time by holding down shift while drawing.

For this picture, I want to really focus on Number Six (woman in red) and focus on other objects at the table. I selected things that define certain characters (such as the knife for Chief Tyrol). I also recommend selecting text, unless you specifically want the text to be blurry.


Now that we have everything we want to be sharp selected, we need to select what we want to be blurred. Go to Select, Invert. This will select everything that you didn't, which is exactly what we need for this project.

Now we are ready to begin. Go to Filters>Blur>Gaussian blur...


In the Gaussian Blur box that pops up, make sure blur method is set to RLE (highlighted in dark red) and check your blur radius (highlighted in red). The blur radius should be fit to whatever size your picture is... for instance, on this rather large pic (a wallpaper practically) I used 5. You can see how blurry things will be by moving around in the preview (highlighted in yellow) box. Now click OK.

Wait until it finishes (should be fairly fast, depending on Computer speed, RAM, size of pic, etc.) Now, go ahead and zoom in on your pic and see if it looks any good! I think mine turned out pretty awesome...

So there you have it! A personal tutorial made by yours truly! If you liked this one, stay tuned for more

scroll at 1:06 AM

scroll down to bottom of page to find fun times

I'd like to kill it. at 11:00 PM

Tiny Dog Has Been Barking Nonstop For 6 Years

Flashed at 10:10 PM

So a long long time ago
In a galaxy far far away

I limewired(I know, I was such a nub) Macromedia flash and screwed around with it. I then promptly yelled at it, hit it with various blunt objects which may or may not have included my penis, yelled at it, cried a bit, went to sleep, ate some breakfast, yelled at it again, and uninstalled it from my computer. All because I had no idea how to use it. I've now re-downloaded it on orders from sir Zaphodlington Gargleblaster III and we were screwin around with it for drawing comics.

Welp, I've taken up trying to animate stuff and things and I think I'm getting pretty not-decent so I've decided to take up doing a sort of test short for you guys. I warn you it will be frighteningly weird and will probably have a fair amount of horribly HORRIBLY graphic pornography but I'm sure it will be a pleasure to watch and will warm your heart down to its very core. Possibly with a rage and/or stress related heart attack but thats beside the point.

Expect it within a not-week or soemthing. It'll probably never happen on account of the fact that I'm a lazy bum. But, if it does it will have a nice original soundtrack from yours truly created on the nice little "Fruity Loops 8 XXL Edition".

Also, I'm gonna start adding more pictures. You guys like to look at pictures, don't you?

yeeeeee at 10:01 PM

maybe later. I really don't feel like writing here today for a while
We will upload some venture and other stuff, if you so desire!

Comic at 9:22 PM

Because Life got in the way there won't be a comic today and there probably won't be one tomorrow. I apologize from the bottom of my tiny, quivering penis.

Sincerely,
FengharTheNord

Venture Bros premiere, 2 days early at 6:44 PM

Enjoy
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c3921b0c3b6b011b0e6b1bf2006a

BLAH! at 4:41 PM

So, summer school is done for the week. Thats fun. I love wasting four hours of my life 5 days a week. So, I think I'll have another comic up tonight, but if not, then it will be tomorrow morning. Hopefully I can do this one right and in one to two panels per image so that it can actually be posted on the blog instead of hidden in my putfile page...

Also, if you didn't notice we are apparently starting to be regular about our posting. Wtf is up with that? Its not like people have problems with blogs that update once every "whenever". I mean people love to not know when their favorite blog is updated! So anyways, I guess we'll be trying to post at least once a day and I'll try to do a comic everyday as well. But don't count on it. In fact, disregard everything I have just said-typed.

Also, ALLLSO, Since Zaphod started working on our new layout I can definitely tell you that we'll have it up by "Sometime".

Great Job!

Playing a Solo on the Devil's Flute at 3:59 PM

So in pursuit of a better layout than our current one, I have created a little fun logo. Trust me, this is in the earliest of stages. Here ya go: (until Fenghar decides on a definite avatar, I just have mine. I need to fix some of the Dodge and Burns in this..)



Wingdings fun...although we hardly even advertise slatfatf.tk anymore. whatever

RED at 3:02 PM

Here's a fun little game i found while stumbling. See if you can beat my score, 463 seconds. Now that I think about it, that's a long time.
InnoGaming Arcade

InnoGaming Arcade

Comic... at 8:23 PM

I lied its not coloured but it is funny...to me...

;_;

Also, its too big so follow
the
link!


http://img2.putfile.com/main/7/19121260934.jpg

Hey fenghar at 5:13 PM

I needs bigger version of this pic...

I'm sure you have it archived somewhere. While I'm at it, let me post a few pics I found that are funny:

Dethklok DETHKLOK at 12:18 AM

Venture Bros Content removed at 3:48 PM

Venture Bros wont be uploaded right now... we got some other stuff and some problems to take care of, but now that fenghar has his cable splitter working, we can get back to business.

Video Thing... at 2:11 PM

I'm making one. With G.I. Joes and whatnot. I'm not sure what the plot should be about, but then again, I'm not sure of anything anymore. Also, I'm gonna get around to hookin up that cable splitter tonight and refilling the printer ink so I should have a comic up for you guys in the next day or so. Don't worry, it'll be all colorful with little jokes hidden in the mouse-over text and everything!

So, summer school sure is a blast. Our teacher, who may be mildly retarded, thinks its important for us to know what minuend means...

Also, she doesn't know how to go get the school calculators, so we have to bring our own.

She did do one thing semi-right. She split up the kids who are taking the class for the first time(For getting ahead purposes) from the kids who are re-taking the class. While this is nice, it is completely unnecessary. She could just not split us up and try to teach summer school like how its normally taught, which is out of the book, instead of trying to teach us all actual teacher style. The re-take kids are going through the book 1 maybe 2 sections a day, whereas the smart kids group(Me + Asian girls going into THEIR FRESHMAN YEAR HOLY CRAP, NERDS!) are going through a chapter a day...

So yeah, thats fun and all that...

Life! at 6:48 PM

To the tune of "Frosted Flakes" by Lil T-cat and the home skillets

Its less than great!

Its about average!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So, I got printer ink and a cable splitter. Here is an explanation for you folk who aren't educated in the ways of "Private Chats between me and Zaphod"...

Printer Ink - Will stop making my printer act like a little bitch and whine at me instead of SCANNING THE FRACKING PIECE OF PAPER LIKE I TOLD IT TO 3 MILLION TIMES ALREADY!!! God!

Cable Splitter - Will allow me to watch and record live t.v. from the comfort of my irradiated LCD computer monitor! And also allow for teh leet hax of uploading stuff.

And now, a more personal entry written in italics(To denote its personal-ness).

Dear diary,

I am a man. I have a penis.

The end.

xxxoxOxX
Jesse

THATS NOT ALL!

If you order right here, right now, YOU may be qualified* to win a free plasma screen tv! Just call five five five, zero five seven, five seven five six five, six....seven...eight five pizza seven pizza niner oh one too, seven five eight....

five seven five...

three...

And we might pick up**, and you might win a plasma screen tv!***

Or not****

Anyways, I'll upload a comic around "whenever" and maybe you'll enjoy it and maybe you won't. I can't guarantee anything besides a slap to your insolent little face. Also, I think I might make some kind of short film starring the honorable judge G.I. Joe. And some other guys that may or may not or may or not may be, toys and/or action figures.

Oh, and I got sleep so I'm not so "Oooh lalalala, I'm insane because I haven't slept in over 24 hours and I'm starting to slip in and out of reality lah la la lah! BLAH BLAH BLAH! BLAAAAAH!"

Also, I wanna watch The Life Aquatic really bad and right now. If you want to join me call the number that isn't listed below and be sure to bring popcorn to the address that is also not listed below...

*Probably not
**Thats not a real phone number so...Yeah, not really gonna happen
***No, you won't. Snap out of this fantasy world you live in and get real. God.
****Exactly.

Sweet Angel at 6:34 AM

This post is dedicated to Sarahbotic/bed is on fire who died yesterday is dead to me because she deleted all our memories is still alive and healthy. This post is for all the memories we shared.

Darling Sweet Angel

In other news, I hate retarded file compression that ruins my perfect masterpieces...

Sci Fi at 11:31 PM

Science fiction films have suddenly become terrible. Remember the old scifi movies? They were amazing. The cinematography... The lights... The humor! Many were even from foreign countries. But hey, seriously. What happened to scifi? I used to love curling up with a GOOD scifi movie on Saturdays... naked. Anyways, I can't stand this crap that comes out today. God it used to be so much better. Like in the sixties. And seventies. and eighties. All of em. Great great great great movies.

I downloaded a pack of 2603 posters... hahahah.

If only American Commercials were like this... at 1:50 AM

I stumbled upon this video. Its so completely awesome I thought I'd show you guys.

Alice at 8:48 PM

Reaaaaaly trippy and sweet video/song I found. Ch-Ch-Check it out!

Important Information Regarding Your Account with the Secure Credit Union! at 10:15 PM

When you are in the movie business(That is, the business of making movies) like me and Zaphod are(That is, Zaphod and I) you hear a lot of wild and crazy things(That is, crazy and wild). Things like: "Necrophilia" or "I swear to god, I didn't shoot him. Please, I have a wife and children" or "Post-processing"(That is, processing after the fact). These things, while interesting,(That is, in a scary sort of way) have nothing to do with what about I'm about to tell you.

You can find cheese in canned form. I KID YOU NOT! You may be saying to yourself
"But Fenghar, what would be the purpose of cheese in a can? I get along fine with cheese a la wedge."
Well, can you easily spread cheesed wedge onto crackers?
"Yes, soft cheeses like brie or feta are perfect for crackers or any other snacks of the crunchy and salty variety"
Shut the fuck up, no you can't.
"But Y-"
No. You can't.
"O-o-ok..."
Good...

Now, onto the other uses of cheese of the can. For one thing, you can squirt it directly into your mouth cutting out the crumbly biscuit(That is, British crackers) middleman for maximum snacking efficiency. Or, you can squirt it on a cake, like icing. Or administer it to cuts or scrapes to stop bleeding and promote healthy, scar free tissue. Or use it to get out troublesome stains. Or use it to clean grout. Or use it as an all natural antiperspirant. Or use it to clean grout. Or use it on small children to make them disappear or go mute. Or use it to clean grout. There are so many different uses for pressurized cheese contained in metal that its perfect as a stocking stuffer for that mom who is always on the run.(That is, from the law)

This is where the segway would go, if it weren't on vacation in the Peruvian highlands of Massachusetts.

Small news update. If you didn't notice, Zaphod posted the phirst comic of a infinite part series. Hopefully, when my printer stops being a childish bitch, I'll be able to post a delicious comic for you straight from my greasy loins.

Deviant art stuff at 2:15 PM

So I decided to make a deviant art that isn't just full of bullshit. Here is my address: http://bardiel13th.deviantart.com/ Enjoy it. I think i'm a pretty good artist... hell of course I am. I'm so sexy. oh and thats a little sample for you

Operation: Post a Poster at 12:19 PM

So the Secret Agent Clank dev team has put out a great contest. Post a Poster. Basically, you download this zip file at http://rcforum.us.playstation.com/rac/board/message?board.id=secretagent&thread.id=1975 and then use the pictures in the zip file. I've checked out the pictures, and so far they are pretty awesome. There are a few limitations, you have to be a US resident, over 13 and a few other things. Oh the pic can only be a JPEG at 300dpi or less, and in 8x10 inches. I've already started on mine, and its looking pretty cool. Show me yours, and enter it or something. You can win some cool stuff, like the poster you made in full size, signed by the dev team, and a collectible figurine. If you don't own secret agent clank, I recommend you go get it. It's a great game with an awesome ambience to it.

A comic about love and life at 1:40 PM

first comic... my dad doesn't have adobe flash on his comp... so im sort of limited. Enjoy

k, redid in flash.... tell me which is funnier and why

Epic Review -- 10,000 B.C. at 11:35 PM

So, I just saw 10,000 B.C.

I know, I know, I'm about 32 years late, but if you haven't seen it, you should. Its a good rental.

The Synopsis: Delay, a young mantuc hunter who doubles as a whiny little bitch starts fulfilling this old lady's prophecies and his tribe is all like, wtf? One day the tribe brings back this chick named Evanescence. The old lady Vulcan mind melds with her and sees some blurry shit and comes to the conclusion that four legged demons are gonna come and rape the village on the day of the last hunt. Delay, being full of emotions and hair and germs, falls in love with Evanescence the second he sees her. Everyone hates delay, on account of the fact that he's a bastard child who's mommy died giving birth to him because she couldn't handle raising such a little miserable failure and who's father betrayed and left the village for the same reason. So, Delay is left to be raised by Tic Tac, his father's life partner. Delay gets all old and is still in love with Evanescence but has to fulfill a prophecy to be able to get into her pants, or tunic, or whatever the hell they call those things. So, the day of the last hunt comes and delay kills the mantuc and everyone loves him but he didn't really kill it he just whined a lot until it died. He tells Tic Tac who in turn tells him that he needs to go fuck himself, because he's a lying whore. Then the next day, the four legged demons show up except they aren't four legged demons, they are just some guys on horses. They kill all these people and take a whole bunch back with them so they can have them as rape slaves or whatever and Tic Tac and Delay get all pissy and decide to run after them. So they and this other guy who is basically just cannon fodder, I think his name is Karen or something, start chasing after the four legged demons and chase them and chase them and chase them until they get attacked by some ostriches and then Tic Tac gets hurt and Karen dies or gets captured or something and Delay carries Tic Tac through the desert. While going through the desert Delay falls into a hole and finds this sweet ass epic tiger mount and saves it and he doesn't even ride it. I was all like WTF? Ride that shit into town and call it macaroni! But instead he just let it go. So he and Tic Tac come upon this village of black people and they all scream and point their sticks at them and then the Epic Tiger Mount comes and fulfills another prophecy and the black people are all like, wtf? So he and the black people get MORE black people who all chase down the four legged demon guys. But the four legged demon guys get on these boats and ride off and Delay whines like a little bitch but eventually gets to Egypt which is where they are taking the rape slaves. Delay and his band of merry men go to free all the slaves and get back Evanescence but the lead Egyptian guy is all like, woah there fella, I got your bitch. And Delay is all like, sure I'll let all these people become your slaves if you just give me back Evanescence. But then he changes his mind and throws a spear at the lead Egyptian guy all 300 style and it kills him and we find out he's just some fucking white dude instead of an alien like they led you to believe throughout the movie. Then Evanescence dies. But then she comes back to life again. But the old lady dies.

The End!

So, I basically told you everything that happens in the movie and most of the jokes will be funny after you watch it, but despite my statements about D'leh being a whiny bitch, the movie was actually pretty good, and the cg was gorgeous. Also, the ostrich scene was totally sweet. Jurassic Parke-esque you might even say. I can't wait for the sequel "10,000 B.C. 2: 10,020 B.C. Son of D'leh"

News Stuff! Issue 1 at 12:01 AM

Good morning, Vietnam. Your news, delivered. Channel 2 works for you.

First on the agenda. Readers, while I know at least one of you is pretty much only here for Teh Vuntere Uncles(Season 8) uploads by our local pretty boy, Zaphod, I hope that a few of you also take the time to read my worthless additions to the vast media hive known only as "Teh Blogosfear". So, to improve the frequency of my posts, I need the help of you, dear reader. Give me some lame story suggestions. Try to give as much detail as possible. If you are lucky, I may even whip up a few [strike]shit collages[/strike] pictures in flash. Hell, maybe the whole story will be done in flash. It all depends on the suggestions you give me.

Now onto the news -

I'm thinking of doing a comic or something along the lines of a comic. A not-comic, if you will. Maybe a Pseudo comic.

I'm thinking of making a video or something along the lines of a video. Probably about fight club. Don't count on this video though. Its prolly not gonna happen. I can't trust giving my identity to you guys. Especially you, rapist.

I bought my first cruiser in Eve. One and a half missions later I blewed it up. If you play then join me, mah name is Ganreck Lorbaye.

Vuze rocks!

If you actually care about this stuff, I'm going to reveal who I would vote on for president soon. That is, if I weren't a wanted man.

If you didn't know already, Maxis just released a trial edition of the SPORE creature creator, free and available for download directly from their site. I don't have any first hand experience with this nifty, and apparently lightweight program, as there are some minor conflictions between my hardware and spore's face. However, I have seen my kid brother play it and it looks mighty sweet. I'm sure Zaphod will maybe, not, probably, tell you about it in a possibly, probably, not happening, delayed, future post.

I've decided I'm gonna try to take on making some kind of actual layout for this damned contraption. I'll probably have to call upon the talents of many friends and family and law enforcement to wring out the artsy fartsy and the code for this nonsense, but I'm sure it won't be much trouble.

Also, because of the recent discovery of actual living, breathing, not-known-in-person viewers, and their subsequent voting on our poll, I'm gonna do more polls. I promise they'll all have at least one, if not two options for you to choose from.

And last, but certainly not least, I'm an Indian outlaw...

Half Cherokee and Choctaw!

My momma was a Chickasaaaaw I'm a one-of-a-kind!

Good night, and good luck!